Cap It Off

Today I was fitted for my graduation cap and gown. It is hard to believe that I’m almost done with law school. As the first spring breezes hit my nose and the days lengthen, I face the stampeding reality of the “real world.” Not that the “real world” is anything I fear. But soon I will be leaving the sheltered bubble of academia; I will be giving up the comforts that I have enjoyed for the last 20 years of my life.

No longer will it be acceptable to answer questions by saying “pass.” Soon I will not be able to plead “but I’m a poor student.” Work attendance is not the same as “class attendance.” Dedicating anything less than my full effort to a project may cost a client thousands of dollars, instead of earning me a gentleman’s C.

I never thought I would say it, but I think in some small ways I’m going to miss law school. At times I felt beat-down, suffocated, and utterly distraught. But I’m not dead, and I’ve got a lot of good memories and friendships. And above all, I’ve preserved my own sanity.

Tally-ho my friends, tally-ho.

Ok so I was wrong…

Yesterday I called the gurney riding fan out (see Weekend Wrap item #4)

Garnett fined; fan distressed

But still, I do not fell sorry for this guy. Buck-up you sissy.

Weekend Wrap

Here are a few thoughts about my weekend, and note-worthy happenings in the pop-culture world.

1. Thank you to Dave and Carol for hosting another great party. Hawaii 5-0 is best enjoyed in a Hawaiian shirt sipping a blue Hawaiian in good company. Check, check, and check… and besides… it would have been a shame to miss Mike modeling some of Carol’s finest fashions.

2. Congratulations to Joe and Paula on their new addition: Lucy. She is an absolutely adorable miniature dachshund. Being new to the Twin Cities, there is an expected adjustment period, but it seems like Lucy and her parents are quickly learning how to deal with each other. I wonder if she is as fascinated with them as they are with her.

Lucy is damn cute (as you can see); friends and family have already lined-up to be Lucy’s aunts and uncles. Which is good, because you can’t “board a f*cking showdog, Dude. It has f*cking papers.”

3. Did anyone else notice the Golden Palace.com “streakier” (he wasn’t naked, more of a “disrupter”) at the Olympic closing ceremonies? Joe pointed-out that there was a large time-delay, begging the question: why did NBC show him? Is NBC in co-hoots with Golden Palace? Did the producer realize how boring the closing ceremony is, and add it the snippet for it’s entertainment value? Whatever the reason, it was very strange that NBC gave the clown air time.

4. Kevin Garnett was ejected from the Memphis game this weekend for tossing the basketball into the stands. Now, I will not defend KG for tossing the ball into the stands. He broke a rule and received the listed punishment, cut and dry. The Big Ticket almost immediately realized he made a mistake and appeared to offer an apology to the “injured” “fan.” The last two words are in quotes due the ridiculousness that followed.

Medial personal removed the middle-aged man on a gurney. Come-on man, a lightly tossed basketball hits you in the face, and you need to be wheeled-out of the Target Center? They would have had to tie me down in order to remove me from my second row seats. I don’t care what protocol required, at worst I would have walked myself out. But there is no way I would have allowed anyone to put me on a stretcher. This douche-bag brings new meaning to the term “egg-shell plaintiff.”

Ambular Day

Everything I want to say sounds cliché, even though you inspire me uniquely.

I guess happy birthday will have to do.

UAE Ports: Comming to a Coastline Near You

A company from the United Arab Emirates is trying to buy operational rights to six U.S. ports. Important security questions have stirred-up controversy on both sides of the isle. Democratic and Republican congressmen alike have been frothing at the mouth at the idea of foreign control of our ports. And not just any ol’e country, but UAE, a country known for occasionally playing foot-sie with terrorists

Yesterday I was listening to Talk of the Nation, a merchant marine called in to comment on the topic. He said that he just got back from a shipping run to UAE and that the ports there are the best in the world. They were safe, efficient, and well-run all the way around. He also claimed to be a “Bush-basher,” but felt that a presidential veto would be completely justified to prevent any legislative attempt to block the sale. It’s hearsay at best, and who knows if this guy was being completely honest, but it was a unique perspective/argument.

This issue intrigues me for a couple of reasons. This issue forces the administration to show some of its cards. Homeland security was the most important Bush campaign issue. GW convinced the majority of Americans that he would make them “safer” than Kerry. No mater how you frame it, most Americans will see UAE’s pseudo-control of six ports as a threat to homeland security. I don’t care how much people want to believe him; Bush will not be able to sell this to the majority of Americans. If a deal-breaking bill ends up on his desk, Georgie’s going to have to spend some of his “political capital.”

Second, it has been about 4 years since I’ve agreed with Bush. And, as much as it pains me to say, I think he’s right. Now, he may be right for the wrong reasons but ownership and operations are completely different from security and protection. For the first time in a long while, common sense is on Bush’s side.

I just wish I could banish thoughts of Saudi princes holding Bush’s hand. The president has always been willing to buddy-up with oil-rich nations. So unfortunately, I do not think W is taking the moral high-ground. Feels more like back-scratching, but I’m reserving judgment.

True to form, most politicians and media outlets are over-reacting. Considering that this is an election year, not surprising. This issue creates a perfect opportunity for Republican legislators to create some distance between themselves and the President’s 40% approval rating.

A strange and potentially dangerous political issue for GW.

Don't Piss Off Your Roommates...

...espeicially if they look like Franklin Paul Crow

On a Mission From God...

Yesterday, (most of) the band got back to together. Min, Tam, Dar-c, An-e, Linds, Rach, Ange, and I, all sat at the same table. It was really good to see everyone again. Connecting with old friends dusts-off old memories and feeds your current curiosities.

Congrats to Dar-c, and Tam on their recent engagements. I’m very happy for both of you and wish you and your fiancés the best. Any chance you’ll have the weddings in the Twin Cities? I know that my opinions won’t matter, but I just thought I would lobby for it anyway.

With only a couple of hours together, I didn’t get a chance to catch up with everyone as much I would have liked too. And I regret not getting more pictures for this post. I’m just glad that everyone is generally healthy, generally happy, and living interesting lives.

Sunday was as close to a “band reunion” as I will probably ever experience. While it is always good to reconnect, sometimes ego issues get in the way. Sometimes the drummer and bass player just don’t like each other very much. Maybe they fought over the same girl, or just did not see eye to eye, but something caused a riff. And yet they are unavoidably drawn together because of a common connection.

All band members make their own artistic contribution to the “sound.” And when a band has made great music in the past, people, internally and externally, want more. They want to see the same group they so fondly remember; they want to recapture the magic.

Unfortunately, that is not always possible. Even when everyone involved wants it to happen. “Some words once spoken, can’t be taken back.”

Sometimes bands break-up. But that does not tarnish the memories or the music they made. And whether they like it or not, band members are forever linked; they are bond by their common past.



Long live South Side Solid

Death Penalty & Law: A Broken Marriage

So I haven’t blogged about anything law related in a while. It hasn’t really been a conscious choice, I just haven’t been inspired. And I do not want to publish crap you don't want to read. But my two seminars have been interesting: Tax Policy & Death Penalty.

Now I’m not going to take-on the impossible task of making a tax policy editorial interesting, yet. But the death penalty carries its own cache of controversy. Most people instinctually are either “for” or “against” capital punishment. I would guess that most of you have had a debate or two about the subject. And I’ve witnessed two friends kick the crap out of each other after drunkenly arguing the merits of capital punishment.

Law school, for all of its faults, usually facilitates a deeper and more searching discussion of controversial topics. The ‘language of law’ constructs a forum and provides the tools for an open debate. You get a chance to dig beneath the emotional reactions and get to the devilish details. Legal education breads cynicism, creating students who are often openly hostile toward any sort of emotional argument.



Unfortunately, this “deeper searching” just leads to further frustration when you find out that the best legal minds are just using fancier words to have the same kind of debate. Lawyers argue about procedure and evidentiary rules as a pretext to discussions about basic principles of reliability and justice. Judges opine about due process and remand on evidentiary disputes, when they should attempt to cure the pervasive racism that cuts at the roots of “equal protection.”

The more I learn about the death penalty, the less I like it. And I did not have a high opinion of it in the first place. Every aspect of the capital punishment system needs serious reform.

Maybe someday America will join the rest of the developed world and ban the dehumanizing practice. Maybe the Supreme Court will strike-down the death penalty on 8th Amendment grounds. Maybe there will be enough broad-based support to amend the Constitution.

Maybe, but I’m not putting any money on it.

Happy Valentines Day

Isn't Love Beautiful?

Alright, I’m sorry to be a sap today. But it is Valentines Day and I’m lucky to have Ambular in my life. So here are a few quotes I found at Lovepoemsandquotes.com.

Searching for love quotes online… Casanova's got nothing on me.

Love is strong yet delicate.
It can be broken.
To truly love is to understand this.
To be in love is to respect this.

- Stephen Packer -


If asked why I love her I would say
It’s the sway in her hips,
the thickness in her thighs.
It’s the lust in her lips,
the love in her eyes.
It’s the softness of her skin,
the silk in her hair.
It’s the twist in her walk;
it’s the sweetness in her talk.
It’s the way she loves me
that makes me love her each day.
That is what I would say.

- Justin Hutchins -


Love is not blind - It sees more and not less,
but because it sees more it is willing to see less.

- Will Moss -

What a Dick (Cheney)

Just what the administration needed: more bad press.

Is it just a coincidence that Dickie C. shot an attorney? Considering the current leadership’s anti-trial attorney stance, the “health-care system can be fixed if we just limit those greedy lawyers” attitude. I’m guessing Cheney’s subconscious took-over and guided the shotgun towards Harry Whittington. I’m kidding of course, but what a big mistake.

Think about the stereotypical hunters involved in shooting accidents. Rednecks, hillbillies, and just down right unlucky bastards, not usually the cream of the crop. When I first read this story I had a mental picture of Dick Cheney in a red flannel shirt, brown overalls, a flannel-lined hunting hat with earflaps on his head, and a heavily chewed cigar hanging from his mouth.



“Let’s go shot dem quails.”

“Yeee-hawwww”

Devils in the Detail

New Banner II 

I’m trying to improve the look of The MN Life. Because I know little about computer language, I’ve been spending too much time reading message boards and fiddling with html code.

I’m happy with my new updated banner, but don’t be surprised to see it changed in the near future. And, as always, I’m open to suggestions.

Brokeback To The Future

Oh Doc, I wish I could quit you.  

In case you haven't seen it yet: Brokeback To The Future

You Give Movies a Bad Name: Pucked?

Jon Bon Jovi's "Blue Steel" face.  

National Lampoons: Pucked

I don’t know who this movie will hurt more, Jon Bon or National Lampoons? Maybe it’s anyone who pays $8 dollars to see “Pucked.” Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Jon Bon Jovi is the next Chevy Chase?

But this movie has straight to “DVD release” written all over it. Not only is the leading man played by a musician, but it has two cast members who are familiar with the straight to DVD process: Estella Warren and Cary Elwes.

Here’s the plot summary from imdb.com:

Frank Hopper (Bon Jovi) is a former lawyer, long-term loser and constant dreamer - and frankly, probably just not all that bright. When he receives a credit card in the mail, he believes he's hit the jackpot. It's not long before he's working his way toward financing his dream - an all-woman hockey team. He's also put himself in debt to the tune of more than $300,000. Naturally, he winds up in court when his plan backfires.

Wow, this movie has the potential to be my biography. Except instead of an all-woman hockey team, I would probably try to start an all-woman golf tour.

They already have that you say...

Damn.

John Holmes Comes(Sic) Away With Win

Last weekend John Holmes won the FBR (Pre-corporate: Phoenix) Open.

No not that one, this one:

Super Bowl XL - All Hype, All the Time

XXXL Sized Hype 

One more year of football has come and gone. (Only seven more months till next year) Mike and Jenny’s 3rd annual Super Bowl was another huge success. Jenny, your culinary talents are dazzling, thank you for allowing me to stuff myself with all kinds of delectable creations. I fell asleep last night with thoughts of “Whiting Wieners” dancing in my head. Mike, how you are able to stay thin, I’ll never know.

The game itself was a bit of a disappointment. Steelers and Seahawk fans aside, I think that the general public was less than ecstatic about the match-up going in, and the game lived up to the lowered expectations. Two weeks of hype could not create a great game, and the Jerome Bettis story only goes so far. Joey Porter and Jeremay Stevens attempted to mix-it-up, but the pseudo-media feud stoked little excitement.

Even the commercials were kind of blah. The ad executives at Pepsi appear to have a simple formula for computing the “super-ness” of an add.

Super-ness = (# of celebrities in add)*(visual effects)*(unintentionally funny statements by celebrities)

And GoDaddy.com’s add was flat-out terrible. (Granted censors sent it back to them 12-13-14 times, but clearly the ad execs couldn’t take a hint) When the entire content of your ad is T&A, and the TV censors are cracking-down in the current pro-family culture, you are fighting a losing battle. Find a way to be clever or save your advertising budget for Playboy and Hustler.

Maybe I’m just bitter about losing my Seattle (+4) and over (47) parlay, but Super Bowl XL was a few sizes too small. Maybe I’ll start a class-action lawsuit on behalf of all Americans, alleging false advertising and intentional infliction of emotional distress (See: Mick Jagger’s anorexic model look) by the NFL. Seems like a good way to pass time during my last semester of law school.

Weird News of the Day

You can’t really make this stuff-up.

Home sellers making a leap of faith with St. Joseph statue

Group - New car smell includes toxins

Tomorrow: two cents worth of Super Bowl musings.

Comedic Gold... Super Bowl Style

Terry Tate, Office Linebacker:
“You wanna play games? Well, went its game-time, its pain-time. BABY, Woooo!”

I'm That Guy...

From the comments to:

Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Len Pasquarelli: Abe Froman's Lost Brother?

Anonymous said...
Dude. Abe Froman was not a Superfan. Abe Froman was the Sausage King of Chicago. As in, "you're abe froman? yep. The sausage KING of Chicago? That's me."

Come on Marcus.

2/02/2006 7:45 PM

Gopher-Goof said...
Yea I realize this post got out of control. ("full of non-sequiturs.")What I was thinking was Pasquarelli looked like a good sausage eating Chicagoian. Like Abe Froman, the Sausage king of Chicago.

Then my train of thought jumped the track and went with the sausage and Chicago theme and ended up in Chris Farley's Superfan's lap.

Len Pasquarelli looks nothing like Ferris Bueller, but does look like "an Abe Froman," I mean he could be a sausage king. (People give out crowns for everything these days.) And he does look like a super fan.

I realized it was a schizophrenic theme, but I had to post it.

2/02/2006 9:42 PM


Even though I have an explaination for my "Fuzzy-posting," I still feel like I just sang the wrong words to a pop song out-loud.

Shame