Happy Halloween

My front lawn next year... 

Vandelay Days

Be careful not to flag-guard.  

Sadly, my flag football career may be over. Tonight, Vandelay Industries suffered a 14-13 loss to an under-manned undergraduate team. For those who don’t know, Vandelay Industries is made up of 15 rag-tag, weekend warrior law students. We are all too competitive for our own good, but what do you expect from a bunch of type-A personalities.

Thanks to Mr. PW for making it happen, I’m pretty sure that the rest of us on the team would have been too lazy to put it all together and deal with the intramural office. Thanks to Vellon and PW for designing and ordering our dead-sexy uniforms. It’s shame that we only had a total attendance of 18 for three years, the shirts were hot. Thanks to Mrs. Reszetar, the Most Valuable Fan, she accounted for at least half the attendance and spent numerous hours treating her husband’s various injuries.

Everyone’s dad has one or two subjects / stories that they talk about more than others. For my dad, it was remembrances of his flag football “glory days.” It was one of the few things that my dad told me about his law school days. He would talk about how much fun he had playing, he would provide descriptions of “the guys” he played with and he would talk about plays that had become clouded memories. Once in a while he would point-out judges or politicians that he played with back in the day. It was always interesting to hear a story about a judge’s quarterbacking ability or a state representative’s butter-fingers.

Last but not least, thanks to all my teammates, not to get too sentimental, but you all made my Vandelay days memorable. You all gave me the life long ability to torment my family with stories of my exaggerated flag football prowess. And judging by the character of the individuals who made up the team, someday I will get the opportunity to brag about playing with some pretty big-cheeses. I can already brag about playing with some great guys.

And who knows? Maybe we will dust-off the shirts next year.

Ozzie and Harr-y-ett?

No honey... it's not what you think, err, it was just a "World Series kiss."  

Rosa Parks

A gentle warrior. 

Rosa Parks, you were brave, you were courageous. You brought to light the gross inequalities that existed in this country. You were a catalyst of change.

Your simple act of quiet revolt sparked a grass-roots movement. Your simple sensibilities and gentle spirit inspired great change.

You struggled against the forces of discrimination.

Because of all this, it was only right that you passed-on in your sleep.

Rest in peace

Somewhere Out There (#2)

Is that all it takes? 

You Two Funny Guys

Not a bad idea  

If you look to on the right side of the TheMNLife, there is a link to the Comedy Central website. I cannot recommend it enough. It is so convenient dialing up segments of the Daily Show to watch at my leisure, often as a nightcap before drifting-off to dream.

An added bonus, Steven Colbert has been given his own Daily Show-ish mock news program. One could argue that Mr. Colbert is as good as Mr. Stewart at twisting news into hilarity. Clips from the Colbert Report are available in the same ala carte format as the Daily Show.

Last night it struck me as odd that the US Army was advertising before the Daily Show clips. John Stewart’s audience leans left, and he often takes jabs at the administration. He points out the inconsistencies and generally makes-fun of the under-lying logic surrounding the Iraq war.

It’s hard to imagine many regular Daily Show viewers being compelled to run out and sign up for the Army. Not really their target audience. Maybe the Army knows something I don’t, or maybe the Army’s resigned itself to recruiting liberal slackers.

Hypocrites Being Hypocritical

Come to the "right" side.  

I am completely befuddled by the administration’s approach to funding the hurricane Katrina relief effort. (Inadequate as it was.) President Bush has proposed massive spending cuts to make up for the 20 billion ear-marked for the Gulf-coast. Taking a cue from the White House, House Republicans have vowed to cut 50 billion from the next budget plus a 2% reduction in discretionary spending.

If you have been following politics at all in the last 4-6 years, you well know that social services will face the bulk of the cuts. Now I’m just a know-it-all law student, but does it make much sense to cut social service budgets in the wake of one of this country’s largest natural disasters? People desperately need all the help they can get.

And let’s not forget about the 286.4 billion dollar transportation bill that President Bush recently signed. It’s hard to believe that that there wasn’t 20 billion worth of pork in that big-ticket bill that could be diverted to Katrina efforts. I just don’t get it.

Has George Bush forgotten what the Bible says? “Love thy neighbor has thyself.” Jesus was once quoted saying “whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me.” I guess all those evangelical (gross generalization I realize) conservatives have forgotten about “living their faith.”

There is such a juxtaposition of political ideologies in America. The conservatives seem to be more selfish, demanding tax cuts that benefit themselves and others like them. They demand that Bush appoint judges that would limit “choice” in a way that abides by their moral beliefs. They will not be happy until everyone, in this great land, thinks like them and shares their moral and religious beliefs. The evangelicals have not shown much tolerance to toward their follow man.

Now I am well aware that some of these same individuals donate money to charities and volunteer their time. I whole-heartedly applaud those efforts. It’s not that all liberals are angels. Many liberal politicians are just as selfish. But in my mind, conservatives generally conduct themselves with an air of self-righteousness. They think their religiosity makes them better. The Bible would respond, “Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself.” and “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” It’s pretty clear God doesn’t want you to act like an ass just because you believe in him. Making moral judgments about people is his job.

Oh yea Mr. President, one more Bible passage for your consideration: “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

Somewhere Out There (#1)

It's only dirty if you think it is.  

Does anyone recognize the 573 area code?

Futility Redefined

Oh the joys of being a Minnesota football fan.  

Minnesota is the worst place to be a football fan. The Vikings and the Gophers both raise the state’s collective expectations, then catastrophically collapse. The only thing you can count on as a Minnesotan football fan is heartbreak. Someway, somehow, one of the two teams is going to implode, crushing our spirit.

As if that wasn’t enough, we have to watch all our home football games in the Metrodome. The human habit-trail, the soul sucking baggie, it is impossible to argue that it isn’t the worst stadium in the Big Ten, or the NFL. We used to be able to ridicule Detroit for the Silverdome, no more. Even the Arizona Cardinals are getting a new stadium.

Just this weekend, the Gophers choke in spectacular fashion at home, blowing a ten point lead with two minutes left. They lost on a blocked-punt returned for a TD. An ending like that may only happen once or twice a year in all of college football, but it is just the type of play that has come to typify Gopher football. And to top it all off, it was against Wisconsin.

And let’s not forget about the Vikings. They needed a win in the worst way, and got blown-out 28-3 by lowly old Chicago. You will not find one positive story surrounding these clowns for at least the next week. The season is over, stick a fork in them. The Vikings will be battling the Houston Texans for the worst record in the NFL. We Minnesotans get to look forward to another crushing defeat at the hands of our easterly neighbors next weekend: the Green Bay Packers come to town and get their shot at the sinking Vikes.

And somewhere Red McCombs is smiling. Like any good used-car salesman, he shinned-up a mediocre franchise before he sold it to some sucker at an inflated price. Poor Zigy Wilf drove it about a mile down the road before it broke-down. Now he gets the pleasure of trying to literally “right the ship.” (Get ready for another onslaught of ship/boat/dingy puns in the media this week.) You got to feel for the guy. I feel bad when my fantasy football team losses, Zigy's mental health cannot be very good.


All time low-points in Minnesota football history:

1. 1998 Vikings lose in the NFC championship game after Gary Anderson missed his first field goal of the year.

2. 2003 Gophers blow a 21 point lead in the 4th quarter at home to Michigan.

3. The Vikings lost all four Super Bowl appearances.

4. The Gophers haven’t been a good team in a long time; they haven’t been to the Rose Bowl since 1961.

5. In the three years I had student season football tickets, I witnessed, in person, at least three Gopher losses on the last play of the game. (Purdue, Northwestern, Michigan State)

6. October 26, 1964 Jim Marshall, a Vikings defensive lineman, picked-up a fumble and ran it the wrong way for a 49er’s touchdown. Forever dubbed “Wrong-way Jim Marshall.”

7. Vikings lose the 1987 NFC Championship to the Washington Redskins as running back Darrin Nelson is stopped at the goal line on the game’s final play.

8. 2000 NFC Championship game Vikings lose 41-0 to the NY Giants.

The list goes on and on.

And people wonder why Minnesotan sports fans are so fair-weathered.

We should stick to hockey.

So How Much Is It Going to Cost Me?

It just ain't no fun.  

My car’s serpintine belt broke last week. $350 later, my car is back to tip-top shape. Or… at least I think. My knowledge of all things mechanical is fairly minimal. I can handle changing oil, checking my air filter, and keeping my tires properly inflated. Anything else, my car visits a local auto mechanic.

They could be ripping me off, I wouldn’t have any clue. I don’t know engine systems well enough to know what should or should not be fixed. I just have to take them at their word.

“You need a new belt-pulley also.” (Hmmm… belt-pulley, sounds fishy)
“Is it essential?” I ask.
“Yep, it keeps the belt taut.”
“Alright go ahead and fix it.” (I say, resigned to fact that I’m at the mercy of a mechanic.)

It is no fun going to the auto mechanic.

Harriet Miers & George Bush BFFs

"See Harriet, that's were I go and hide when people are being mean to me."  

Did Bush really just nominate Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court? Not exactly a slam-dunk. The President follows John Roberts, a judiciary super-star, with Harriet Miers, a complete unknown. Both left and right are a little twitchy about Ms. Miers. I heard no less four qualified female jurists mentioned. But Bush goes with his “home-girl.” Hmmm…

Even his evangelical base is beginging to seriously question the direction Bush is leading the country; and they are definitely not happy with Miers. His approval numbers are sliding, Rove and Delay are being indicted, Michael Brown bumbled FEMA's Katrina response, and the Iraq war is looking more and more like Vietnam everyday. Things are begging to unravel.

The President has lost his Teflon sheen. And his moment of political invincibility wanes and waxes. Another bullet-proof president stubbles and the fickle American voter begins to turn away. Faced with all this controversy, why would George Bush nominate someone so unpalatable to his base?

Feels like cronyism to me. This President has favored loyalty above all else. I think he saw an opportunity to have a personal ally on the Court. But Bush has bitten-off more than he can chew. Even he does not have the political capitol to pull this one off. Not now, not with the all the negative press swirling.

The political pundit buzzards are circling.

A Shiny New Ax

"Would you like to buy our extended warranty?" 

I bought a guitar today. For the last three years I’ve been dinking around with guitars I’ve borrowed or stolen from roommates. It has been a good way to test the waters, low risk hobby try-outs. But now I’m an owner. And I couldn’t be happier.

For about half the cost of a semester’s trip to the bookstore, I’ve got myself a Yamaha sunburst acoustic guitar. She’s pretty. She sings beautifully, even in my inadequately talented hands. Hopefully she’ll inspire me to continually improve, to become a worthy operator.

More than anything I just want to be able to play well enough to entertain myself. I want it to remain an enjoyable outlet. And maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a chance to entertain others. Who knows if/when I’ll ever get to a point where I feel competent enough to play for others, but no mater what: I’m glad I play.

Some people like to end a long day with a night-cap; I prefer a half-hour of guitar time… AND a night-cap. Strumming a guitar is cathartic at the end of a long day of law school. You put the books down and work the other side of the brain for a while. The creative side of the brain that is partially loboto-sized by the process of legal education.

Besides someday I may be able to pass the guitar on to someone younger. I may no longer have any hope of turning the county as a rock-star, but I would love to be able to give that chance to someone else. If I am able to do that, who knows, maybe someday I’ll find my name in the liner notes of an album.

But I digress, and I have already wasted enough guitar time banging away on this keyboard. Time to play.

Return of the Quizno's Rats

Best ads ever.  

I can't get enough of the crazy singing rats can you?:

http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

* Work/School Warning: cuts right to a video with audio.

And whatever you do, for Pete's sake don't buy the wrong bananas:

http://www.rathergood.com/bananas/

And Now... Your Moment of Zen (#4)

Push me higher, or I'll tell mom.  

Why and why?

I'm sure Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would have something to say about this.

Happy Hump-Day

Some hump-days are harder than others.  

Half-way through the week, not bad. I just wish mother nature hadn't decided to dump 5 inches of rain yesterday. My basement is a bit of a mess. What can you do but clean-up? At least the weekend is comming. Hoo-ray.

Have-A-Happy-Beard Day

All these men are single, and waiting for you.  

I'm too sexy for my beard, too sexy for beard. So sexy I should be feared.

* I especially like the pirate... Arrrrrrggh.