Living My Dream

I can still remember a couple of dreams I had as a child. (Considering the amount of brain cells I’ve killed over the last 8 years that’s no small feat.) One of them is too weird to even attempt to describe, the other…

I was always attracted to the crane toy machines. After begging my parents for a quarter, I would ply my skill. Often a friend and I would gang up on the tricky machines. One of us would operate the crane and judge the target’s x-axis; the other would stand on the side of the machine and judge the y-axis. Every so often I would pluck a prize, just often enough to keep me plugging quarters.

To this day I can distinctly remember a dream about having the ability to contort my body. And what did I do with my amazing super power? I climbed into every skill-crane in town, and took all the toys… MMMMuuuuu hahahahah.

I’m a huge dork, and I’m a little jealous of this kid.

I’m torn…

Because I’m still in the running with a couple of brackets, I have to root for UConn. Yet, the Huskies stir the same feelings of disgust I have for Duke, and the Yankees.

I’m drawn to George Mason. I’m a sucker for the hardworking underdogs of the world. Although… GM’s Tony Skinn recently punched another man in the jewels during a game. It is hard to root for that guy.

I guess this game will be like betting against the Vikings… you win either way.

And

I’m sick…

And when I’m sick, I’m a big big man baby. I piss and moan, and am generally not agreeable to much.

For those of you who have to deal with me I’m sorry.

And missing a party because of illness is just lame, whether it's justified or not.

A Double Dose of Excitement: Seasoned With Reality

I’m still trying to catch my breath. The NCAA tournament never disappoints. This was especially true last night. As plucky LSU knocked-off over-hyped Duke, college basketball’s version of the Yankees, and two games ended with high-wire drama.

Great finish #1: Texas hit a 3-pointer as time expired, seconds after West Virginia hit a 3-pointer to tie the game. Great finish #2: UCLA clawed back from a double digit deficit to knock-off Adam Morrison and the ‘Zags. Gonzaga managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. UCLA’s full-court pressure caused two key turnovers, which they converted into a surprise come-from-behind victory.

I was jumping around enjoying the thrilling conclusions, fully immersed in the excitement of it all. Reality is suspended when I’m watching an exciting basketball game. I’m like a kid watching a Rambo movie, I never question the fact that one man could take-on the entire Russian army and win. I’m in a reality-free bliss-bubble.

Mr. Mustache became absolutely dejected as the final seconds ticked off the game clock. I’m not calling attention to his heartbreak to poke fun at him. Anyone who has played organized sports knows how awful it can be to face the end of a season. It's not nice to kick a man when he's down.

Morrison's man-tears were hard to miss. At the end of the UCLA/Gonzaga game, CBS focused its entire coverage on Morrison's pain. The commentators were going on and on about the possibility that this was Adam Morrison’s last college game. With typical overly dramatic hyperbole the commentators lamented the loss from Morrison’s perspective. To which Ambular quipped:

“Geeze, they make it sound like he’s going to be shot at dawn for losing.”

It’s funny because it’s true. And that's why I love the NCAA tournament.

A Mixed Bag

There have been a few blog-worthy happenings lately. So I’ll throw them all together in a multi-topic post for your ridicule and/or enjoyment.

1. The whole man-scent fad has gotten out of control. Axe and Tag have bombarded TVs with their guerilla warfare advertising. (Our ads are sexier than yours, no our ads are the sexier, and on and on.) Amusing the first couple of times you see them, but after that... lame, lame, lame.

Tuesday night, during The Balln’ Mondale’s intramural basketball game, a frat-boys Axe-effect was outrageously strong. It was so bad that it gave me a headache. And to make maters worse, I must have contacted the human air freshener at some point during the game, because I could still smell the noxious odor on my way home from the gym.

Here’s to you Mr. Way-Too-Much-Cologne-Wearer

2. What Would Jesus Do? Boston Arch Dioceses suspends area adoption services in the face of Massachusetts state law that allows gays to adopt.

I’m not passing any judgment on the law itself, although those who know me can guess where I stand, but it does not seem very fair to place the burden of a political protest on the backs of children. This kind of reaction is exactly what the proverb “throwing the baby out with the bathwater” is all about.

3. The Sopranos is the greatest drama in the history of TV. (Settle down West Wing fans, WW is a close 2nd for sure. But network TV just can’t compete with HBO.) I know I will be captivated to the very end. And Amublar and I get to mooch HBO off our friends. Thank you Joe and Paula.

5. I’m going to take this opportunity to pat myself on the back. The MN Life has been going strong for an entire year now. While it may not always been all that entertaining, funny, or clever, it serves its purpose. It forces me to sit down every few days and write. And it allows me to: thank, praise, rant, ponder, pontificate, argue, advocate, mock, and think.

Thank you for spending some of your time to reading my blog.

Delicious Delhi

Last night Dave, Carol, Ambular, and I feasted at New Delhi. It definitely lived up the hype. (And by hype I mean that David still wanted to go even though he was suffering from a cold) Everything from the wine and appetizers to dessert was awesome. We even scored a booth next to a small stage where a musician played a sitar. Nice authentic touches created a great atmosphere.

I had the Lamb Rogan josh: bits of seasoned lamb in a rich red sauce with just a hint of sweetness to complement the curry flavors. MMMmm, it was just as good reheated the next day for lunch.

The Pakoras and Naan Bread sampler appetizers were tasty and came in generous portions. (It seems like most restaurants these days skimp on the appetizer portions. 4 little pieces of bruschetta and diced tomatoes just doesn’t cut it.)

The best part was the Gulab Jamun. It’s like crack for anyone with a sweet tooth. You really need to taste it for yourself, but it is sort of like donut holes in a lemon/honey syrup. One taste of the "sweet balls" and I was hooked.

If you like Indian food and have never been to New Delhi, do your self a favor and plan a trip soon.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

May St. Patrick watch over all the inebriated,
May the green beer not give you the runs,
And may you find a soft place to land.

Strangers With Questions

A few years ago I signed-up for Answerology, a new trendy website at the time. It promised to provide a forum of strangers, giving you the freedom to ask all the questions you were afraid to ask your loved ones. Answerology is a great concept, but in practice it left much to be desired. Rarely would I get any response at all and if I did, the answers were shallow at best.

The problem… no one really wants to answer the questions. Everybody wants answers; few have time for more questions.

I’m still receiving questions from anonymous sources. But how is a person supposed to answer a question like this?

if u found about 5 condoms not open in your ex's car u have been seperated for 1 week and before that week we have been wanting to get a condom for protection and he says it was for the week we have been together he just left them there and forgot i got pist i dont know if i should belive him or not and i also found a flier of partys and beer at some place please help me we are seeing eachother but we have not gotten back together im still living at a friends house and he is living with his mom.

(Taken verbatim from an email I received)

Help? You want my help?

Call Jerry Springer.

Hot Child Indeed

It has been a while since I’ve posted. Not really much going-on right now that has piqued my interest, got my undies in a bunch, or caused any excited utterances. So I’ll give you a fun little toy that was sent to me by a coworker yesterday.

Billboard's #1 Song Database

The #1 song on my birthday… “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Glider. Which I thought was pretty damn fine birthday anthem until I checked Ambular’s: "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart.

What song was #1 on your birthday?

Kirby Puckett 1960-2006

Kirby Puckett passed away tonight. He was one of the most beloved sports figures ever to grace the Twin Cities sports scene. Puckett was generous, joyous, and blue-collar. He always had time to stop and autograph a kid’s baseball, or pose for a picture with a fan. And no one ever questioned his work ethic or heart. Puckett gave it his all, all the time. You could not ask for more as a team-owner, a coach, a teammate, or a fan.

After retirement, Kirby’s marriage fell-apart after his mistress publicly disclosed their relationship and he was later accused of sexual assault by two women. When I first heard about each of these negative situations, I was repulsed by the idea that my childhood idol could do such things. But in hindsight, these mistakes illuminated Puck’s human-side. In no way do I excuse what he did, but like everyone else, he proved to be less than perfect.

One of my fondest memories was sitting in left-field with my dad for game 6 of the 1991 World Series. Kirby was perfect that day. He single handedly saved the Twins from elimination, making a spectacular catch against the plexi-glass and hitting a walk-off homerun. That game, and Kirby’s heroics, will be forever burned into my memory.

While I am saddened by Puckett’s passing, at least Bob Casey will be able to give him a proper introduction at the pearly-gates…

“And now, the center fielder, number 34, Kirrrrrrrrbeeeeeee-PUCKett.”

Who Knew My Colleagues Were So Talented?

I knew they were good… but I didn’t expect the professional quality performances I witnessed. Sometimes, the people in your life surprise you.

On Tuesday night I saw Dave and Blake’s recent creation: 300 Jones. (The trio is filled-out by Blake’s younger, soon-to-be-doctor brother. Two soon-to-be-lawyers and a soon-to-be-doctor = double the groupies.) Unfortunately I missed the first half of the show, but what I saw was more than worth the trip. They got chops.

300 Jones is funky and original with a bitter-sweet pop-y style. They engaged the audience with their newly minted original tracks. And I’m sure there is better yet to come. Rumor has it the trio may all end-up staying in the area. I hope so; I’ve never been friends with a band. They all possess the goods; in fact they take turns on the lead guitar, bass guitar, and drums. 300 Jones is a novelty in an age of copycats.

If you get a chance to see them, you best take it.

And…

Thursday night, I was thoroughly impressed by TORT’s theatrical stylings. And I’m not just being a homer either. These guys are good. I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of time it took to produce “A West Bank Story.”

Lawrence turned in a great performance. He easily hit the pace and inflection of Dean Johnson’s voice, while capturing the Dean’s tell-tale physical mannerisms and salty-sweet attitude. Lawrence’s inner-ham shone brightly as he effortlessly delivered his lines. Bravo Lawrence, Bravo.

Reif, still disappointed about getting beat-out by Luke Wilson for the role of Riche Tenenbaum, went with plan B and took-on the role of “Pro Bono” in “A West Bank Story." He wowed the crowd by deftly lifting the entire cast over his head for the finale. Is there anything he can’t do?

The music was really good. So good, it was as if Gates was preordained to become the TORT musical director. He conducted a talented and hastily assembled motley crew of musicians. I thought Andrea and Matthew did an especially great job. (Violin and guitar/bass clarinet respectively) Gates performed like he was leading a keg-beer-fueled sing-a-long at the Gamma house. Which you understand is a compliment, if you’ve ever been a part of one. And Gates pulled double-duty, breaking-out his unbeatable Brad Clary / Jimmy Stewart impersonation. Thanks for playing us a few songs, piano man.

And my former roommate Mr. PW stopped the show playing the hapless law student “Mr. Dumas.” Two and half years of method acting research really paid-off. PW’s performance drew the biggest laughs of the night. It was a great comedic moment; every law student can relate to feeling “shitty” a time or two. And PW’s singing, dancing, and all round showmanship was fun to watch. A crazy-cool performance indeed.

Chief Justice Russell A. Anderson of the Minnesota Supreme Count made a cameo appearance. It was comforting to hear the Chief Justice mispronounce “debacle.” (He said “DEB-a-cle”) If the Chief Justice can make a mistake and laugh about it, then I know I should be able to as well.

I really should be working on my bar application, or staring one of my term papers. But it was necessary to recognize the substantial talents of my classmates. Twice this last week I felt both proud and jealous. I was proud of my classmates’ artistic accomplishments, and jealous of their talent. And I am truly envious of their risk-taking performances. Great work my friends.

Bonus random weekend thoughts:

#1. SportsInteraction.com lists Justin Morneau as 67-1 long-shot for the 2006 MLB Homerun King. I wonder who/when was the last Twin to even make this list?

#2. Has anyone else seen Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel?

#3. Saturday, Phil Mickelson hit a shot into the gallery at Doral. The ball hit a fan’s watch, breaking it, and bounced onto the green. Phil walked over to the fan and handed him a couple of crumpled $100 bills.

If you’re tired of hearing about ungrateful professional athletes, watch a golf tournament sometime. You will see humility, graciousness, and honor. Golfers do not taunt each other and are paid in direct proportion to their performance. Refreshing