Monday News: A Couple of Thoughts

Do you remember a kid by the name of Danny Almonte? Five years ago he was the talk of the sporting world as the dominating little league pitcher with falsified Dominican birth records. It was later uncovered that Danny was unaware of his father’s “fuzzy math.”

I just discovered that Danny is a newlywed. He’s 19, she’s 30. Apparently age ain’t nothing but a number for the Almontes.

And…

The Star Tribune’s resident conservative columnist Katherine Kersten is at it again. Oh, those poor people who live near the boundary waters. Shame on the federal government, and its pesky laws, protecting a great national treasure. All the locals want to do run some bulldozers into one of the most unspoiled natural environments in the country… what’s the big deal? It’s only “salvage logging.” According to Kersten's underlying logic, we should allow clear cutting in the boundary waters because people did it in the past.

I’m no tree-hugger, but STFU. Laws that protect and preserve the natural state of the boundary waters do not create an “unnatural fuel load.” (I realize that most of the quotes are from state Rep. David Dill, DFL-Crane Lake, but it is clear that Kersten is adopting the statements by publishing them.)

Like the people who live near the San Andreas fault-line, Tornado Alley, or downtown Detroit, we all bear the risks associated with the place we live. Allowing loggers into the boundary waters to prevent forest-fires makes about as much sense as building a twenty-foot-high concrete wall along the east coast to protect against hurricanes.

It makes me sick to my stomach whenever I read conservative commentary that bemoans the “sad plight” of somebody who is being denied nothing but a pure economic business opportunity. If we relied on the free market to solve all our problems, the boundary waters would have been bought and sold numerous times by now. Fences would have been put up, and we would no longer be able to enjoy one of the greatest public goods in the country. Yea that sounds like a great idea.

Yet conservative hate-mongers like Ms. Kersten are the first to jump on the backs of welfare recipients. They feel pity for innocent business people, but distain for the working poor of the world. They hate the federal government and its policies reflexively.

The boundary waters is a relatively small piece of America, I don’t think it is asking too much to preserve it in its natural state. Fires are an integral part of the lifecycle of forests. Deal with it.

Bar Exam Redux: My Thoughts & A Bar Exam Question

It’s over. And I’m done. Physically and mentally exhausted by the bar exam itself, and the subsequent celebrations. I’ve slept about 24 hours the last two nights, attempting to recharge my batteries.

The bar exam itself tested both my body and mind. I endured a knotted stomach, a throbbing head, and frayed nerves almost continuously for two days. I took comfort in the fact that just about all of my colleagues felt the same way. The lines on our faces all got just a little bit deeper. Some of us earned our first grey hairs.

By far, the best part about the whole bar exam experience was the bonding and celebration afterward. Letting loose after being wound so tight. Understanding completely the trials and tribulations and commiserating about the ridiculousness of it all. The exclusion of witnesses… what? Negligent hot air ballooning… come again? No Rule Against Perpetuities question?…. Damn I knew that cold.

Thank you to all of you who helped me along the way. To my classmates: thank you for all the little reminders and moments of levity throughout law school and bar review. To my non-law school friends: thank you, your friendship helped me forget about the grind from time to time. To Ambular: thank you, you have helped and supported me more than you will ever know. I could not have done it with out all the support and confidence that all of you gave me.

Now in case you want to try a bar exam question at home here you go. You have 45 minutes, go:

Driver is a 16-year-old who recently obtained his learner driving permit. In Driver’s state of residence the statute provides that a driver wit a valid learner permit shall only operate a vehicle with a licensed adult driver seated in the front seat of the vehicle and shall only drive between the hours of 6 a.m. and 11 p.m. The purpose of the learner permit law is to allow new drivers an opportunity to learn to drive with the guidance of qualified drivers and to minimize risks to others who might be endangered by inexperienced drivers. The time restriction was intended to keep inexperienced drivers off the road during the hours when they are less likely to be fully alert. Driving without a valid driver permit or in violation of the learner permit law is a misdemeanor and subjects an offender to a fine.

Driver was driving a vehicle one night at midnight with a licensed adult driver seated in the front seat next to him. As Driver carefully drove through an intersection with a green light, his vehicle was struck by Thief, who inadvertently ran through a red light.

Thief was driving a car he had stolen 10 minutes earlier from Dealer using keys left in the unlocked car. Dealer is a car dealership which routinely leaves keys in cars on its lot for the convenience of its salespeople. Thief and others had stolen cars from Dealer’s lot in the same manner on other occasions.

Passenger, an adult passenger in the backseat of Driver’s car, was injured when the car Thief was driving struck Driver’s vehicle. Part of Passenger’s injuries were caused by her failure to wear a seat belt.

Passenger brings a negligence claim against Driver, Thief, and Dealer for her damages.

Analyze Passenger’s claims against the defendants. Discuss the likelihood of Passenger prevailing on her claims in light of possible defenses.

(End of actual 2006 MN Bar Exam essay question)

The Bar Exam: My Greatest Challenge

I apologize for my absence. I know how all my faithful readers hang-on every word I type. Some of you probably can’t even find the strength to get out of bed in the morning without your daily dose of tripe. Well fear not, the end of the MN Life dry spell is almost over.

For those who don’t know I’ve been consumed lately with bar exam preparation. I am trying to cram as much legalese into my cranium as possible. The problem is, each wrinkle of the law I mange to squeeze in pushes another nugget out. Just when I learn hearsay, I forget personal jurisdiction. When I finally grasp negligence, I lose the Statute of Frauds. It is a never ending battle to learn, compartmentalize, and understand the various intricacies of the law. My brain is literally throbbing, pushing against the inside of my skull.

Please do not feel sorry for me. I’ve brought this torment upon myself and hopefully someday I will be rewarded handsomely for it. But it just isn’t much fun. The test isn’t until Tuesday and I already have butterflies in my stomach. I’m not sleeping or eating that well, the stress is taking its toll. Learning the law and becoming a lawyer is nearly as taxing upon the body as it is the mind.

I must solider-on undaunted, undeterred, unwavering. I must harness the fear, anxiety, and doubt and turn them into my allies. All I can do is give it my best effort, and hope that the things I cannot control go my way. Pass or fail I will be better off for having been through the gauntlet. My resolve, having been tested and tempered, will be galvinized.

And like all of life’s difficult moments, this too shall pass.

Damn It Is Hot!

For anyone, unfamiliar with Minnesota, who may stubble across my humble blog: it is ridiculously hot today. And by hot I mean hot and humid, none of that “dry heat” that Arizona boasts. No this is rainforest hot, sweat through your shirt hot. And tomorrow the mercury will be even higher. We’re talking about 105+ degree heat indexes, instant sweat the moment you step out doors; plenty of swass to go around. It is so hot the breeze feels like it is being pumped out of a forced-air furnace.

Hot steamy summer days in Minnesota make me think of one of my biggest pet peeves… people who make lame, ignorant, insulting, over-generalizations.

I never understood how some (obviously, not all or I would be making a lame, ingnorant, insulting, over-generalization) east and west coasters (some I’ve met, some I’ve only had the privilege of seeing on various reality shows) could be so oblivious to “fly-over land” that they actually thought it was cold in Minnesota all the time. It is understandable if “coasters” don’t know much about this great state, in fact I prefer it that way. But just like the girl named Cecilia, who must endure endless no-so-clever references to the Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name, I’m tired of ignorant-snobs attempting humor (or worse: showing their lack of knowledge) by asking “Isn’t it cold all the time in Minnesota?”

Oh yea, that is sooooo funny. I never heard that one before. You should take that routine on the road Chuckles.

Maybe I’m just cranky from studying for the bar exam. Maybe the heat is getting to me a little bit, I don’t know. But in any event, all you knuckle-dragging, coast-dwelling idiots have been warned. (and hopefully a little informed)

Rush Limbaugh and Ken Lay: Who's Your God?

Sometimes, you stumble across a story that makes you grin-widely. You know that whatever higher-power you believe in must be working in a rational and even-handed manor. Whether or not you believe in karma as a religious doctrine, it makes a lot of sense. You reap what you sow.

No matter how much I pretend to be something I’m not, I cannot escape my actions. What I do and how I act reflect upon me as a person, much more than what I say. I could say I’m a Hindu, but if I wear crucifixes and eat hamburgers then I’m not being a very good Hindu, Christian, or hamburger-eater for that matter. I would only be an above average hypocrite.

I guess Ken Lay convinced himself that orchestrating one of the biggest scams of all time and being a Christian are not mutually exclusive activities. How deep was the self-delusion? How could Lay ever forgive himself for recklessly ruining so many lives? Now, I understand the ideas of forgiveness and atonement. But Mr. Lay forgot two important aspects: confession and repentance.

Obviously, I do not know where Mr. Lay will spend eternity. But I would have a hard time accepting any god who would let a scoundrel like Ken Lay into heaven. That would be an injustice of epic proportions.