DMB's 3-Step Program

Could I Have Been A Magnet For Money? 

Once again the Onion has it right on. [Dave Matthews Not That Into Himself Anymore"} Every Dave Matthews Band fan has the same story. I can’t even begin to count the number of people who have gone through the same three step DMB program. Even those of you who have never really considered yourself a ‘Dave fan’ can think of at least one person you know, who has gone through the three steps.

Step #1: “I love Dave Matthews.” In your mind Dave is the greatest musician ever. You don’t care what anyone says; DMB is bigger than the Beatles. There will never be another band that will move you the way that the Dave Matthews Band does. You listen to Dave non-stop. You spend all the money you don’t have on a road trip to see Dave in Chicago. You wear a Dave T-shirt. Basically, you’re a younger version of a Parrothead, Deadhead, or Fishhead… a “Davehead.” (Usual time in life: college)

Step #2: “Dave is alright.” You have lost some of your original zeal, but you still count yourself among the faithful. Dave still makes his way into your regular play-list from time to time. You stop talking abut the lyrics… and how they shed meaning on life’s great questions. Non-Dave-loving friends start liking to hang out with you again. There is the occasional show, but the posters have come down. (Usual time in life: age 22-25)

Step #3: “Dave… ehh” You buy Dave’s new CD “Live at Pepperdine IV” You realize that you just spent $15.99 on a CD full of the same songs that you spent $158.45 buying the first time. Then the Dave Matthews Band becomes a ‘spokes’-band’ for the NFL; and you realize that all those lyrics about saving the world are bullsh*t. You accept the fact that nothing is forever, and come to appreciate and know the true nature of Dave: A pretty good musician, (one of many)who sold-out. (Usual time in life: age 25-29)

Such a shame really… I thought DMB was going to be “the one.”