Satisfying Violence

A man is capable of all kinds of monstrosities when he is backed into a corner. And trust me; this was not going to be pretty no mater how it went down. It seemed so senseless, yet so necessary.

I had promised myself I would never do it again. She, had promised me I’d never have to do it again. But there I was… faced with two choices I didn’t like.

Even though there were other options, I could not have lived with myself if I had taken an easy way out. No, not this time, this time it was going to have to be violent, dirty, and raw. I was going to have to roll-up my sleeves and get a little sweaty.

Could I ignore my own common sense? Was the violence necessary? What if somebody walked-in on me, and caught me mid-act? What would happen if I could not finish the job?

The questions swirled. But the time for questioning was over… it was time for action. I only had an hour to complete the act… precious little time.

I pulled out my hammer, unsure of where to begin, and brought it down leading with the claw… THUD. I knew instantly that I would have to find a better way. The hammer was only going to increase the gore. Hacksaw…? No a hacksaw would probably be worse.

Next, I tried a screwdriver. Perfect, I thought. Although I would be pressed for time, I knew that with a screwdriver I could be exacting and less sloppy. It wasn’t always easy, often I had to contort into unusual positions. But I made steady progress, carrying pieces out to the dumpster as I worked them free. Once I got rolling, I was able to work much quicker.

Soon the entire works was in the dumpster. Never to be seen again.

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Ambular is officially out of here old apartment. I just described “moving Ambular’s sleeper sofa.” It was heavy, bulky… a pain in the ass to move. It has caused heat exhaustion, bent toenails, and all forms of bumps and bruises.

The last time we moved it, we swore (hoped) it would be the last time. To make a long story short, Ambular tried to get rid of it, but no luck. The apartment needed to be vacated by the 31st and we don’t have a truck, so our options were limited. We would have to find some way to deal with it.

We tried, with Joe’s help to move it out by the dumpster. But on the way out the door it slipped and collided with Joe’s toe. Joe was wearing sandals… ouch. After that we debated leaving it versus tearing it apart and removing it piece-by-piece.

So yesterday, before I caddied, I went to the apartment with a hammer, a hacksaw, a screwdriver set, a drill, and a shop-vac. Some how, someway, I was going to dismantle the beast and get it out of the abode.

I was amazed at how tough it was to get started. Once I knocked-out the first corner it was pretty easy and somewhat enjoyable. It’s not everyday that you get to recklessly destroy a couch. I would have paid to have been able to do it when I was 12.

Man versus couch…

Man: 1
Couch: 0