When I'm Sixty-Four

“Oh, no not me. It’ll never happen to me. No-way, no-how, I’ll never be lame like that.” These words could have very well come out of my mouth circa 2002. The thought of not spending every night possible out on the town, drinking like a fool, shaking my money-maker, and chasing girls was just blasphemous. Especially when you have a job and you’re making enough green to afford to go to The Lounge or Escape on a regular basis.

The blessed naivety of youth, how wonderful and yet wrong you were.

Having reached the age of 26 I’ve come to hold a few strong opinions about the night-life of the Twin Cities specifically, and night-life more generally. In no particular order here are my humble opinions:

1. Only in extreme circumstances (old, dear friend in town with a dying wish) will I be found in places like “Bella Noté,” “Tonic,” or any other over-priced / over-hyped establishment.

2. There is nothing I like more than having 6-10 friends over to drink and talk. Plain and simple, I like to drink and talk with people I like.

3. I am going deaf. (too many concerts during afore mentioned naive youth) So accomplishing #2 is getting harder and harder in bars and clubs.

4. The nights I remember from last few years all took place in a non-pretentious, dive-y, stiff drink pourn’ kind of establishment.

5. Every weekday night, bars have to compete in a steel cage death match with my couch for my attention. My couch fights dirty.

6. There are few things I hate more than constantly elbowing my way through a bar.

7. There are few things better than getting a large table for your whole party.

8. But #7 does you no good if the service is lousy.

9. Happy-hour is one of the greatest inventions ever... period.

10. It is damn near impossible to get 10 people together any more, my friends don’t get urges to go out on the same night it seems.

11. Paradoxically, it seems that my married friends go out more than my single ones.

12. Not surprisingly, it takes me twice as long to recover from a night out now, than it did when I was 22.

13. Drinking at home = no drunk-driving ticket

14. There are still a number of wonderful bars in the city that lure and entice me out during the week.


I guess that is my two cents for the day, anything I missed?