The MN Life

LVL 33 Dork

2009-04-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

A fellow fantasy geek pointed this out to me:

Yep… that’s about right.

Bring-on the boys of summer.

But I'm Not Dead Yet

2009-03-26T12:21:00.001-07:00

I started this blog for a few reasons. If I am to be completely honest, the main reason was envy. My friend and former roommate Mr. Whiting, was a guest commentator on his friend’s flashy blog.* I was jealous of the creative outlet, and like most lawyers, thought that I had all kinds of interesting options to share with the interwebs.

Unfortunately, I was also painfully aware of how far my writing skills lagged behind my law school classmates. I figured that the easiest way to improve my written prose would be to find a “fun” writing activity that I could enjoy on a regular basis. The MN Life was a great vehicle for this kind of needed self improvement.

Once the ball was rolling, I enjoyed the diversion from mundane legal writing. No fact checking, boring research, or blue-booking. It was also a frequent in class mental-vacation. If one of my law professors was off on a tangent, rambling needlessly, I could tune him or her out and bang-out a quick post.

Then law school ended, most of my blogging-motivation stayed behind with it. But I felt compelled to keep posting. I had started something that I was proud of, and it seemed like a shame to let The MN Life die.

But as you can see, if The MN Life isn’t dead it’s fair to say it has been in a coma for quite a while. Consider this post the equivalent of my beloved blog blinking its eyes. I maintain hope that a full recovery is possible.

But chances are, life** will again get in the way. But I and my blog still have a pulse, and will not go quietly into the night. Will there be periods of silence, absolutely. But expect, at the very least, sporadic posts.

* My envy has since been completely justified. 'Duk is now a bonafide professional blogger for Yahoo Sports.
** and laziness

Brett Favre Retires

2008-03-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

A pall has fallen over the land of beer, cheese, and sausages. One of the greatest, and arguably most-beloved, athletes of all time has decided to retire. Brett Favre has been one of the best QBs the NFL has ever seen.

His exploits as a gun-slinging iron-man have been well documented. He played every down with the same wry smile on his face. National media fawned over him. Opposing teams hated him, yet they respected him. Packer fans worshiped #4.

As a Viking fan I always wavered between loathing Favre every time he demolished my beloved Purple, and being in awe of the truly unique and spectacular plays he routinely made. It was always difficult as a Viking fan to appreciate that he was one of the greatest ever, especially when he took my team out behind the shed for a good old Mississippi style whoop’n. But even in a monumental Viking defeat, I could still occasionally bring myself to admire his talent. Even against rival teams, when the Packers where rolling, he never rubbed an opponents face in a Packer victory. Sure, he could trash-talk with the best of them. But he was never classless.

Anyone who has watched the NFL over the last 1-5 years has come to know a lot about Farve. Other than the times Terrell Owens acted-up and monopolized the attention of the national media, Favre dominated national football coverage. It isn’t surprising that the national media latched on to him. Farve always paired an awe-shucks personality with a visible joy about playing football. The fun-loving southern boy was disarming as well as charming.

He went through his ups and downs, the pain-killer addiction, Super Bowl victories, his wife’s cancer, MVPs, and his father’s death. The roller-coaster ride that accompanied his career made Favre the football god, still seem human. He never forgot where he came from, nor did his demeanor change. He was always simply Brett Farve.

Now it appears that the legend is finished. There can be little doubt that Favre will always be considered one of the greatest QBs of all time. And more than any other record, Favre’s consecutive games played streak will serve as his NFL eulogy. While there was no shortage of amazing moments and accolades throughout his career, they all pale in comparison to the fact that he started every single game for 16+ years. From the day he got the starting job until the day he retired Brett Favre gave a whole-hearted performance every time he stepped onto the football field.

Brett Favre is a man who created a myth. Goodbye #4.

Happy Valentines Day!

2008-02-14T12:28:00.001-08:00

If you've got someone... be thankful.

If you don't... be thankful.

If Stallone Can Do It...

2008-02-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, Harrison Ford can make Indiana Jones moves for as long as he can walk. I can't wait to see Dr. Jones again this summer. "Dun-dun-DAH, dun-dun-da... dun-dun-DA-dun-DAH, dun-da-da-dah-dah."

Ann Coulter Opens Her Mouth… And Says Something Silly

2008-02-01T18:49:00.000-08:00

It is official; Ann Coulter and the rest of the Far-Right-Wing-Nuts have lost their marbles. (Not that they had far to go to begin with) I’m surprised that Ms. I-Would-Eat-My-Young-If-They-Were-Liberals’ head didn’t explode when she said she would vote for Hilary over McCain in the general election. To say this revelation is shocking is one of the biggest understatements this year.

I mean come-on. Has it gotten that bad for the extreme conservatives of the world? Is Ann Coulter serious about voting for an avowed enemy over a moderate conservative? I think somebody needs a time-out.

Ann Coulter is acting like a child. (Even more than usual) More accurately, like a child that has gotten her way for far too long, that now, is having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it is someone else’s turn. Ms. Coulter and her fellow uber-conservatives have had their hero in the White House for 8 years. But apparently, that’s not enough.

What shocked me the most about Coulter’s statements was the sheer idiocy of her shortsightedness. The American Electorate is in no mood to elect another fiercely conservative ideologue as their Commander-In-Chief. If the Republican Party is going to win the Presidency this November, its only chance is with a moderate conservative like McCain. There is little to no chance that the Republicans will win the general election if the party bows to Coulters wishes, and nominates Romney (who has questionable conservative credentials himself) or Huckabee (Who has some fanciful and potentially disastrous tax reform ideas).

McCain is the conservatives’ best, and in my opinion only, hope for victory this November. But if they continue with this senseless hand-wringing and nashing of their collective conservative teeth, conservatives face the possibility of having little or no input in the next administration.

But hey, what do I know? I predicted Edwards over Giuliani.

General Butt Naked...

2008-01-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

When I first saw the story headline "Gen. Butt Naked, Liberian ex-rebel leader, confesses to killing thousands" I thought it was some kind of joke. Sounds more like a pornstar or WWF name than that of a depraved, ruthless killer. Curious about how an African warlord got such a name, I read the story.

Turns out General Butt Naked's came by his name honestly. His army would charge into battle, yep you guessed it... naked. While it is wrong on a number of levels to make light of mass murder, I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit at the thought of hundreds of armed men charging through a jungle completely naked.

The general sent his soliders into battle naked to "terrify the enemy." Again, not to make light of vile atrocities, but I don't think terror would be my first reaction to hundereds of butt naked soliders running at me... at least not until they got really close.

Debt Collectors Aren't This Bad

2008-01-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

These two stories are beyond sad...

Piggy Bank Raiding

Don't Worry Sis, You Won't Need that Ring in Heaven

Oh, and Ambular and I heard Brian Williams say "Off the hook" while describing the early results of the Iowa Caucus last night. Come-on Brian, you're better than that.

My, My Where Does the Time Go: Or How I Learned to Embrace My New Career

2007-12-31T13:40:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how quickly two months can fly-by. Time moves especially swiftly around the holidays. Family commitments, traveling, holiday parities, and year-end busy work crowd the calendar. And this has been an especially frantic season for me, that whole career-thingy takes up a lot of my time.

Overall I cannot complain. I’ve got a great support staff, my official duties take me out of the office 2-4 times a week, I have an incredible amount of autonomy, and an office with a view. All in all, there are very few things I would change. And we all know that no job is perfect.

Today the office was closed, but I came in anyway. No, I’m not trying to kiss-up, none of superiors were in today. No, I’m not a work-a-holic… yet. More than anything, I wanted a chance to be in the office without all the usual distractions. No phone calls, no emails, no questions, and none of the usual day-to-day busy work.

For those of you who do not know me, my dad is an attorney as well. He would routinely head to his office on Sundays after church, and most holidays. As a child I thought my dad was insane… for his unnatural work schedule and many other reasons.

Most of you can relate to the euphoric feeling of being a child with the day, week, or even month off from school. Going to school on a weekend or holiday break? That would take nothing less than a small miracle. As a child I thought my dad was breaking the very laws of nature, so I would constantly question him:

“Dad, why did you go to the office? IT’S Sunday.”

He’d predictably reply, “It’s the only time I can get any work done.”

Now I understand.

(Cue “Cats In the Cradle” – I prefer the Johnny Cash version)

Happy New Year! Have a great 2008.

I am The Reaper… Coo Coo, Ka, Choo

2007-11-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

As a debt collector I rarely see people on their best day. Many times, an outstanding debt is the least of a person’s worries. Some wheel oxygen tanks into the courtroom, others suffer from permanent disability, and almost everyone we sue appears beaten and battered from life in general. Generally, if you meet a debt collector in court, something has gone terribly wrong.

At times I feel like the grim reaper himself. Instead of a scythe, I carry a stack of files. Instead of a black cape, I wear a black suit. Instead of taking a life or soul, I demand money.

Facing the meek and defeated debtors is probably the worst part of my job. They know they owe the money, they are typically embarrassed about their inability to pay, and they would pay me a nickel if they only had a dime. I hate adding to their burden.

On the flipside, I take guilty pleasure in suing the occasional arrogant, self-righteous, chronic complainer I meet. They act as if the world owes them. They accuse me of being rude just because I will not just wave my hand and make a debt they incurred go away. Few grasp the concept that I, personally, am not the creditor. They generally (in my mind) get what they deserve.

Who's Naughty Now?

2007-09-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

It's Called a Joke, Father

2007-09-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big Kathy Griffin fan, but I found this very funny. I really have to wonder why anyone would take anything she says seriously. WWJD? He would laugh, because I'm sure the Savior of the world has a sense of humor... or at least I hope he does.

Oh Won't You Remedy My Posting-Malaise Ms. Kersten

2007-09-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

I know I haven’t posted in a while. It’s not that I don’t have any useless ranting to do, only that the new job is taking up gobs of my precious time. I sit at a keyboard all day, most days, and I rarely have the desire to bang away on one when I’m at home. Plus it is waaaay more fun to play Guitar Hero than write blog posts. But enough with the excuses, and on with the ranting.

I’m not going to lie; the guilt from my long absence had been weighing on my mind. I had been trying to think of worthy post topics. I thought I could tell y’all about my recent debaucherous golf trip to Phoenix. But sharing the trip through a blog post would be a lot like showing people a slide show of a vacation. Nobody really cares, but most people would politely read it. I don’t want to be that guy.

Then I thought about the old stand-bys, Bush-bashing, YouTube video filler, or silly hypothetical questions. Nope, not feeling any of those. I needed just the right kind of topic to recharge my posting batteries. And then I saw it…

Like a bolt of lightning, on StarTribune.com, my old friend Katherine Kersten’s article “Forget football, U's SHADEy condom brings home the big prize” smacked me across the face. My posting vigor was restored. There is nothing that gets my blogging juices going like a Kersten collum.

As I read it, all I could think was ‘is she serious?’ Is Katherine really ripping the U of MN’s proactive efforts on sexual health? Is she really being that obtuse? I know she’s conservative, but give SHADE a break. They are doing their best to deal with the realities of college life, thereby directly reducing the number of unplanned pregnancies, and indirectly reducing abortions. Can’t a conservative like Katherine get on board with that?

I’m sure that Ms. Kersten thinks abstence is the only acceptable way to teach sex-ed. But let us be realistic for a moment. College aged kids will and do have sex. Even college aged kids at bible colleges do and will have sex. No amount of hoping and wishing will change that. Most logical people realise this. Those same logical people typically conclude that it is a good idea to make condoms widely available to protect students (and society) from the consequences of unprotected sex.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was in college. I can assure you, and Ms. Kersten, that I never had sex because I was given a free condom. It’s not like I was a pure innocent U of MN student that was suddenly turned into a sex-crazed animal when SHADEy handed me a package with 3 condoms and a tube of lube. No, I, like most college men, was already sex-crazed. Free condoms or not, most guys (and some ladies) are looking to hook-up any chance they get.

I find it laughable that Kathrine insinuates that SHADEy, or those brave students who seek to educate their peers, have the effect of increasing sexual activity on the U of MN campus. Conservatives often criticize liberals for being unrealistically utopian. But the fact is, if Ms. Kersten truly believes that the U of MN would be better off without SHADEy, she’s completely lost touch with reality.

Tales from the Crypt

2007-08-23T14:18:00.001-07:00

It took me just under a year to find a career. But it finally happened. I am a brand-spanking new associate at a small downtown Minneapolis firm. I even get an office with a window. (Now I just have to resist the temptation of exposing myself to the outside world.)

I am so glad to be done with the endless batches of cover letters, resume fluffing, and tedious bullshit laced interviews. I mean, how many different ways can you say “I’m great” without sounding either a) desperate or b) pompous? I’m also excited that I will not have to open any more, “We’ve been surprised by the number of quality candidates… yada, yada, yada… it was a very difficult decision… yada, yada, yada… we’ll keep your resume on file for any future openings” rejection letters. (Translation: You suck, we’re going to interview people waaay smarter than you, and we hope your resume enjoys its trip through the shredder.)

I’m certainly relieved to have found a job in the attorney saturated Twin Cities market. I can’t even begin to imagine what it will be like for each successive class of legal grunts. It seems like every year it gets just a little bit harder to land a decent gig.

The longer an attorney practices, the more valuable they are. And for some reason most attorneys cannot get comfortable with the idea of retirement. They just keep coming in to the office, cranking out billable hours and spending their twilight-years elbow deep in legal work.

But I can finally let all that worry and rationalization go. I’ve arrived, I’m validated, I’m a lawyer. Now all I have to do is not screw-up.

One of the Funniest Things I've Seen In a Long Time

2007-08-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

Warning: not work friendly. For your viewing pleasure... Power Thirst:

Luck, Luck-i-ty, Luck, Luck, Luck

2007-07-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

7-7-07 was one of the most popular days ever for weddings. Now either there were a lot of grooms-to-be looking for an easy to remember aniversary date, or people believed that the date will bring them luck. Which I think is a little odd. How much different could 7-7-07 have been from 7-14-07? Will the same people try to plan the birth of their first born on 8-8-08?

A little more than a week and a half ago, it was Friday the 13th. I don’t believe in supersitions, generally.1 But the mere fact that many rational adults believe that Friday the 13th is unlucky makes me nervous. Because I do believe that people typicallly get what they expect.

Having spent numerous hours on golf courses I think I know a thing or two about luck. Often, a fraction of an inch separates a great shot from a poor one. A small hop here, a kick off a tree there, or a nudge from a spike-mark can change an acceptable shot into an awful one and visa-versa. Once a golf ball leaves the club face all you can do is hope and pray that the fates treat you kindly. Each shot is more or less half skill, half luck.2

Just to be clear, I do not believe luck to be some grand mystical force. In my mind luck is little more than post-event interpretation. Two different people can experience the same occurence and one of them will find the silver-lining and consider themselves lucky, while the other would curse the result.

Now I know what you are thinking... some people are just “luckier” than others. This may be true, but I believe it has nothing to do with fate or an inate “luckiness” or “unluckiness.” Instead, I think it is more about selective memory and self-seggestion.

All people fall somewhere between naive, irrational optimism on one hand, and obessive negativity on the other. I know people, and I’m sure you do as well, who simply cannot accept a compliment or enjoy their hard-earned success. They make their way through life with a dark cloud above their heads. They are “unlucky” because while they obsess aboout the near misses, bad breaks, and embarrassing follies; they quickly forget moments of good fortune. They think they are “unlucky” and only remember the worst moments.

While a little more rare, I’m sure you also know a few positive or “lucky” individuals. They seem happy and at ease. Good things generally happen to them, and they revel in their success.

I’m always surprised by the strength of the feedback-loop. You get what you expect. So maybe I'm wrong and 7-7-07 will turn out to be one of the “luckiest” days ever to have been married. But I’m not going to bet on it.

Good luck everyone.

1. I do however, believe it is bad idea to talk about winning a bet before it is offical. And as Carol learned over the 4th, I like to load my own dice box when playing Yatzee.

2. Obviously, the better the golfer, the less luck is involved.

Who Says Americans Are Too Fat?

2007-07-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

It might be time to eat a salad or two when the authorities need a helicopter to pull you out of a river.

You just can't make this stuff up.

"Why Didn't I Think of That?"

2007-06-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been fascinated by “idea people.” Like those who came up with Swiffer dusters, disposable razors, or Jamba Juice. These simple ideas have produced millions in profits after they were combined with a good measure of marketing know-how and production capability.

The other day, while I was in line getting my Pomegranate Paradise at Jamba Juice, I couldn’t help thinking how ingenious of an idea Jamba Juice is. You throw up a small counter in a mall, slap in an ice cream cooler and some blenders, hire a few high schoolers at minimum wage, and viola… you crank out gobs of $4-6 smoothies. Each location is a low overhead, high volume cash cow.

I hope I have a ‘eureka moment,’ and create my own million dollar idea.

If I do, I’ll try not to forget the little people.

(Ideological) Boxing for Beggars

2007-06-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday everyone’s favorite conservative bully, Katherine Kersten set her sights on Minneapolis’ panhandlers. She preemptively blamed them for the downfall of downtown Minneapolis. She cited extreme examples of rude and aggressive behavior and drew the conclusion that all beggars need to be rounded up by an already over-worked police force. “With the right tools and the political will, a city can banish livability crimes quickly.”

Then, today, her favorite ideological sparing parter, Nick Coleman gave his take. Coleman seemed a little fired-up by Ms. Kersten’s collumn. He assutely pointed out that there are, in fact, bigger fish to fry. The Minneapolis Police department does not need to be chasing panhandlers around. He also tried (tried being the key word) to draw begging parallels with the stadium tax or “tip jars” on blogs.

Unfortunately, no amount of hand-wringing will remove panhandlers from our lives. There have always been poor, and there will always be poor among us. There were beggars in Biblical times, in Acient Eygpt, and even in the “good old days.”

Sometimes it is their own fault. Sometimes people are lazy, and/or sometimes they made very poor choices. And yes, sometimes it is a mater of cemical dependency.

But while society is quick to forgive many sins of the rich and the famous if they appoligize and go to rehab; those who cannot afford a trip to Hazelden or Betty Ford are condemend for their short-commings. I know that just like the less fortunate among us, there will always be doulbe standards for the rich and the poor.

It will be interesting to see what the Minneapolis City Council ends up doing on this issue.

Other thoughts:

+ Ambular and I were lucky enough to to dine at Manny’s Steakhouse on Tuesday. It was terrific. Crabcakes, Tomato and Mozarella salad, Baseball Steaks filled with garlic butter, and Tiramisu the size of a basketball for dessert. MMMmmm good. I’m just glad Ambular’s boss was picking up the tab.

+ I have to give Bush credit for trying to find a realistic solution to the immigration problem. Yet, his Republican “allies” appear willing to block him every step of the way.

+ Too much time caddying and playing golf have left me little time or energy to blog. Bear with me, The MN Life will once again rise from the ashes…

Can't Get Enough of the Geico Cavemen

2007-06-04T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hole-In-One!

2007-05-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

I made a hole-in-one on May 21, 2007. It happened on Number 4 at Spring Hill, a down hill Par 3. It measured 168 yards. Because it was a gusty day I decided to hit a knock-down 6-iron instead of a 7-iron.

I stepped-up made a good swing, catching the ball just as I’d hoped. It was headed right for the pin, thinking I had hit it too hard I started yelling at it to “get down.” The ball landed softly on the green… and then disappeared.

Neither Joe nor I were 100% sure what we had just seen… or hadn’t seen.

I made my way down to the hole and nervously peered over the lip… and saw my golf ball sitting snuggly in the bottom of the cup. Ace! My heart was racing for the remainder of the round.

After the first 4 holes I was 3 shots under par. I was playing well, but knew it was going to be difficult to finish the round with a good score. I tried to settle my nerves and quell my inner-doubts… this was going to be my best chance to shoot below 80. (Which I had never done before at Spring Hill)

Front 9: Birdie, Par, Par, Ace, Bogey, Par, Birdie, Par, Bogey (34, two under par)

Back 9: Bogey, Par, Par, Bogey, Par, Bogey, Bogey, Bogey, Double Bogey (43, seven over par)

77! Tying my career best, and my lowest score ever at Spring Hill. I couldn’t be happier.

Just in case you were wondering… the odds of an amateur golfer making a hole-in-one: 1 in 12,750. And with my swing… the odds must have been much longer.

Bunggling Bush Strikes Again, And Again...

2007-05-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

It’s beyond comical, it’s down right sad. The Bush Administration continues to bungle through the “death-throws” of its tenure. Gaff after gaff, Bush and Co. have maintained their unwavering dedication close-minded stubbornness. Bush has taken his my-way-or-the-highway attitude to new levels, undaunted by his abysmal approval rating. The Attorney General and the Wolfowitz / World Bank brew-ha-has are the latest examples of Bush’s inept leadership.

I think it is safe to say that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales either did know about the politically motivated firings of U.S. Attorneys, or, at a minimum, should have known about them. After listening to some of the congressional hearings, I’m convinced someone should have put a limit the amount of times Gonzales can say, “I serve at the pleasure of the president.” He has waffled between “I had no idea” and “That’s the nature of the job.” Either way, Gonzales is to blame, he should be fired. (or have the dignity to resign)

But then again, I don’t think Bush is even giving him the option of resigning. Bush and Rove have no interest in picking a new Attorney General at this point. They would have to bend to the will of a Democratic controlled Congress, against the backdrop of the recent scandal and the failed Harriet Meyers Supreme Court nomination. There is no way that Bush and Rove would be able to get one of their cronies through. I guess they have decided that a wounded, embattled Gonzales is better than anyone the Democrats would confirm.

And while the Gonzales controversy rages domestically, the Wolfowitz / World Bank fiasco is coming to an unceremonious end.
Paul Wolfowitz has resigned as president of the World Bank, after it became known that he used his position to give his girlfriend a large, unearned raise. (Well, maybe she earned it.) At least Wolfowitz has the good sense to step-down.

In the past week, before Wolfowitz’s resignation was announced, the Bush administration refused to back-down on its public support of Wolfowitz. The Wolfowitz and Gonzales scandals are similar in a lot of ways. In both cases, a “Bush’s guy” was embroiled in an embarrassing debacle. In both cases the administration plugged its proverbial ears and yelled “LA-LA-LA-LA…. WE’RE NOT LISTENIG…. LA-LA-LAAAAAAA.” And the administration knew that if either Gonzales or Wolfowitz were canned they would be undoubtedly be replaced by someone less sympathetic to the Bush platform.

I can’t wait until these clowns are out of office. I really don’t care who is next, they HAVE to be better than this. I’m just tired of feeling embarrassed. I’m tired of all the double-standards. I’m tired of the gross mismanagement.

And I think (hope) most of America is tired of it too.

Making Mythical Money On Mauer

2007-05-06T22:24:00.000-07:00

I've got a new addiction. As if I didn't have enough on-line time-wasters already. A bunch of sports junkies created a hypothetical stock market where sports teams and players are traded like stocks. You can buy, sell, short, or cover your favorite players' (or team's) stocks.

I'm still relatively new to Protrade.com, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. I've learned that player values are more about perception than reality. Any injury, no mater how minor, will send a player's stock sliding. Some players and teams are over-priced, inflated by their large viewer markets or general above average popularity.

The problem is, it is way too easy to get sucked in for gross amounts of time. I sit there continually refreshing, following my meager investments. I follow the market movers and read pertinent news.

As I was researching the potential values of a few players I started thinking... if I spent this much time doing actual economic research I could be making real money. At its essence, It is the exact same work. I pour-over box scores, check a few "expert" sources, and try to predict the potential gain or loss.

If you've ever had a hankering to try your luck as a stock trader and you pay way too much attention to popular American sports, then Protrade.com is for you. If you are in the midst of finals... stay away. Aw, who am I kidding? Protrade.com is exactly the kind of psrocrastination-aid that I would have sought out during finals.

2008: At The Starting Gate

2007-04-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

Since it is never too early to start talking about the 2008 presidential election, I’m going to give you my take. Those of us who have been through the Greek tragedy of 2000 and the “inept-off” of 2004 are definitely ready for the next chapter of presidential politics. And I don’t care what side of the aisle you are from; everyone (other than Michele Bachman) appears ready to shovel the Bush Administration out the door. With no incumbent to spoil the show, ’08 will have showdowns in both primaries as well as the general election. (’08 With 50% more mud)

Currently, Hillary Clinton is the odds on favorite at 3.25 to 1. Rudolph Giuliani is next at 4 to 1, followed by Barack Obama at 5 to 1, and John Edwards and John McCain are both 6 to 1. At this point it is hard to imagine someone out side of these five as the next President.

Hilary has tons of experience and the priceless ‘Clinton political machine’ (for better or worse.) Rudy still was the mayor of NYC on 9/11, and America still loves him for it. Obama has the charisma, he’s the rock star, he’s soooo hot right now. Edwards possesses a nice mix charm, experience, empathy, and fundraising ability. And although McCain is getting cozier with Republicans by the day, most American centrists still respect the straight-talking former POW.

But as good as it may look for these front-runners; each of them has serious questions surrounding their campaign. Will Hilary be able to dodge the “Ice Queen,” “Old Guard,” “Special Interest Panderer” characterizations? Does Rudy have the conservative chops to make the conservative base forget about his divorced-filled, Pro-Life past? Will Obama be able to sustain his momentum and overcome his lack of experience? Can Edwards shake-off the stigma of 04 and carve-out a substantive platform. Will McCain be able to maintain his hawkish stance on Iraq and still create enough individual velocity to escape the political blackhole created by the Bush Administration’s incompetence?

And we can’t forget about potential wild card Al Gore. He has enough money, name recognition, and experience to make him a legitimate contender no mater how late he gets into the action. His new found personality and sense of humor would have come in handy in 2000, but better late than never.

I think it will go like this:

Edwards over Obama and Clinton by the slimmest of margins for the Democratic nomination

Rudy over McCain in a landslide for the Republican nomination

And…

Edwards over Rudy in the General Election.

So there it is, feel free to leave your own predictions… or mock mine.

Why I Blog: Or Why I Stopped Obsessing and Just Wrote

2007-04-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

So I did it again. I’ve let The MN Life sit idle for over two weeks. What can I say? My “inspirado” has been missing recently. And I’ve been spending a lot of time helping my cousin rehab one of his rental properties. Apologies to my 4 loyal readers.

I could join the chorus of people condemning Don Imus’ comments about the Rutgers Womens’ Basketball team. (Especially ironic that it happened on the eve of the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s integration of MLB) But I’m feeling nostalgic and philosophical. So instead, I’m going to tell you why I blog and what The MN Life means to me.

It all started back in February of 2005. My roommate PW introduced me to The Rocketship. His good friend K-Duck maintained The Rocketship, and PW was an occasional contributor. PW showed me the ins-and-outs of posting. Suddenly, I knew I had to create a blog of my own.

I had kept journals before. In college, I was required to journal for an English Comp class. I still have that notebook. Even though it is filled with nothing but immature ramblings and nonsensical complaints, they are my ramblings and complaints. They stir cherished memories and chronicle drunken nights that otherwise would have been long forgotten.

In March of 2005 I wrote my first post for The MN Life. I was driven by visions of grandeur, an admiration of PW’s posts, and a strong desire to create an outlet for my non-legal musings. I had hoped to create a blog that was not only for my friends, but one that would draw strangers in as well. And right or wrong, I thought that people would be interested in law school anecdotes.

I had a hard time coming up with a witty name that wouldn’t pigeon-hole me. (If I had to do it again I would call The MN Life, The Legal Bogey. A much more apropos name that draws on my two main interests: Law and Golf.) I settled on The MN Life because it was short, simple, and… well it was short and simple. I know it isn’t the best name, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. At this point I’m reluctant to change it.

Like any project, there was a lot of trial and error. With each post I became more comfortable with the Blogspot software. I was in front of my computer for 8+ hours a day during law school which offered me plenty of time to tinker with The MN Life. Blogging was a great distraction during endless hours of professor pontification.

At first I craved any and all attention. I did everything in my power to increase the number of people who read The MN Life. I checked my hit counter incessantly. I’m sure I annoyed many with my endless self-promotion.

When The MN Life turned 1, I knew that I had created something that I could take pride in, regardless of the number of people who read it. Don’t misunderstand; I enjoy getting comments and learning that somebody stopped by The MN Life for the first time. But I have come to realize that ultimately The MN Life is my journal. It forces me to sit down and publish something. It doesn’t even mater what it is, just that I do it. For me, blogging is like law school, the general process is more important than the specific content.

My only regret so far, other than the name, is an ongoing one. The MN Life gives me a forum to praise, rant, and review. I often use it to highlight some of the achievements and moments of my friends’ lives. Unfortunately, anytime you include some, it is hard to not leave others out. There have been many, many post-worthy* moments that I have failed to capture.

Maybe I'll try to become a professional blogger. Then I could spend all day in my underwear debating the relative IQs of John Madden and Brittney Spears. (In light of recent events, it is a silly argument now. In an intellectual knife fight, Brittney is armed with a stick.) I need to find a way to unseat James Lileks. Then I could get pay-d to be the random-blogger-guy in the Twin Cities.

Sometimes, three or four subjects roll around in my head. At others, the creative juices wane, and I need a break. When I re-read my old journals I notice that anytime I tried to write everyday, my entries were tedious, lame, b-o-r-i-n-g crap. It was bad writing. So in order to keep the MN Life fresh and mostly readable, I take an occasional break.

I hope everyone who stops by The MN Life, will swing-by again. I hope I’m still blogging five years from now. I hope to improve my writing. And I will continue to try to make The MN Life worth your while.

That is all.

* Reminds me of Elaine Benes’ famous “sponge-worthy” quote.

Who Said Public Television has to be Bad?

2007-03-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

(Sorry about all the sports blogging lately. This time of year, between the NCAA tournament, NHL & NBA stretch runs, and spring training it is difficult for me to avoid it. Just be glad I’m not boring you with golf posts… yet.)

Every so often, as I surf through my basic cable package, I come across a scrabble board on TV. I always stop and watch for a bit. At first, a strange side-show curiosity kept me glued to the screen. But the more I watch, the more I am mesmerized by simple genius of “Totally Scrabble Tuesdays.”

Unfortunately, TST has a terrible time slot, Tuesdays at 11:00 pm (Channel 17). As you would guess most of the callers are college students, hipsters, or one of the dozens of dedicated TST groupies. It is not uncommon for a caller to be somewhat inebriated, which is either annoying or entertaining depending on your view. (Alcohol, overcoming inhibitions one drink at a time.)

It may seem silly at first, but trust me it quickly grows on you. It doesn’t take long to be sucked in by host Hamil Griffin-Cassidy. He handles the unruly and ruly* callers with the same quick wit, yet he never comes across as pompous or arrogant. His quirky good nature makes TST work.

Totally Scrabble Tuesdays has become so popular that about a month ago someone launched DefeatHamil.net. As the name suggests, its sole purpose is to help Minneapolis beat Hamil. Clearly, TST is one of the most popular public access television shows of all time.

If you are ever up at 11:00 pm on a Tuesday night, flip it over to channel 17 and soak in the Scrabble-ly goodness.

* I’ve always thought it strange that someone can be unruly but not ruly.

Silly Wildcats… Tubby is a Great Coach

2007-03-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally, finally, the Gophers got a top-tier coach to come to town. Tubby Smith is a class-act AND one of the best coaches in college basketball, even if all those irrational Kentucky fans believe otherwise. I’m not ready to put any money on the Gophers to make the NCAA tournament next year, but I at least have a reason to be optimistic about the future of Gopher basketball.

The University of Minnesota has employed great coaches before. But like Lou Holtz or Brenda Frese, the Maroon and Gold are often used as a resume builder instead of career destination. (I suspect that Glen Mason had similar ambitions when he signed his first contract. But many, many poor game decisions killed his career momentum.) Because the U of MN is a Big Ten school it gives coaches instant creditability and the needed exposure to position themselves for bigger and “better” jobs. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with climbing the proverbial coaching ladder, but the revolving door is not much fun to go through as a fan.

And the men’s basketball coaches specifically, have all been fan-teasers. Bill Musselman, Jim Dutcher, and Clem Haskins all had successful seasons, but they all left the program with a black-eye. Musselman was too mean and ruthless for his own good. Dutcher conveniently ignored problems. And Haskins brazenly flaunted NCAA rules. Dutcher was the least culpable of the bunch, but each of these promising coaches left tarnish on the program’s reputation.

Dan Monson looked like the savior that Minnesota so desperately needed. He had taken Gonzaga deep into the NCAA tournament in consecutive years, even beating the Gophers in the first round of the 1999 tournament. But whether it was the NCAA sanctions, Monson’s short-comings, or some combination of the two, the program regressed.

The University of Minnesota has a storied athletic tradition, but the Gophers have fallen behind the pack in just about everything other than hockey. Besides, a school cannot lean on tradition alone. (See: Michigan basketball) But by hiring Tubby Smith, the Men’s basketball program has some ‘positive juice’ for a change. Ticket sales are way up and fans are down right giddy about Coach Smith.

At a minimum Tubby brings his great reputation and recruiting contacts. (He should have a huge recruiting advantage over Monson.) Hopefully he still has the vigor to build a program from the ground up. But even at his worst, Tubby Smith should keep the Gophers competitive. And that’s all we ask.

Ski-U-Mah

Sven is Lucky I do not Have Photoshop

2007-03-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Sven Sundgaard was the Celebrity Grand Marshall for St. Paul's St. Patrick's Day Parade. Saturday was a great day for a parade, sunny and not too cold. Darcy and Rick confirmed my suspicion that the Irish pubs were packed to capacity.

When I heard Sven was going to be leading the parade I was excited. I had hoped that he would wear a Leprechaun suit or at least a silly hat. But no, Sven just wore a green shirt and vest. Boooooooo.

Just the idea of a metro-sexual Norwegian Leprechaun was enough to bring a smile to my face. Add a corn-cob pipe and a pot o’ gold and Sven would have been one of the spiffiest Leprechauns ever. I challenge you to think of another celebrity that would make a more authentic looking Leprechaun.

Bruce Lee Vs. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

2007-03-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

This video is awsome on so many different levels. I can't believe I've never seen this before. Enjoy...

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2007-03-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

Duke is Dead: For Now

2007-03-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

I have always respected the Duke Basketball program. Coach K has built a program that values hard work, smart play, STUDENT-athletes, and non-turd-ish behavior. But even though I respect them, I still hate them. And because I hate them, I was thrilled they lost last night in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

It’s not my fault I hate Duke. First, my dad loves underdogs. Whenever we watch a sporting event that doesn’t involve a Minnesota team my dad roots for the underdog. Duke never was an underdog during my formative years. Strike one.

Second, before I knew anything about the best rivalry in sports (Duke v. North Carolina), I had been a Tar heel fan. Like 99.9% of people my age I liked Michael Jordan, and Jordan was a Tar heel. So North Carolina got the early edge.

When I played basketball I was a post player. And I remember being a big Eric Montross fan. Montross was tall, a little bit clumsy, and yet an effective player. His Duke counter-part, Christian Laettner was suave, smooth, and smug. I could relate to Montross more than Laettner.

As my affinity for North Carolina developed I got pulled into the Tar Heel / Blue Devil war. And as a college sophomore, I took a road trip to Chapel Hill to visit my friend Becky. I hung-out in Tar Heel bars, I rollerbladed around the Dean Dome, I ate at Tar Heel institutions, and partied with Tar Heel students. I had a great time, cementing my UNC fandom. Strike Two.

Finally, This year’s Blue Devils seem to enjoy playing basketball less than most other teams. Because they have had so much success, winning is tinged with expectation and seems less joyous. If they lose, they get frustrated and pout. McRoberts has been the worst. He has pouted more on a basketball court this year than anybody not named Sam Cassel.

Duke deserves respect because they have built a program the right way. But like a snobby, good-looking girl, Duke knows that it is a great program and has always acted somewhat smug. There has been too many Christian Laettners and Josh McRoberts’, and not enough Grant Hills and Sheldon Williams’. Coach K never smiles, unless he’s shilling for GMC or American Express, thereby (I would argue, unfairly) subsidizing his recruiting efforts. Duke, like its coach is ethical but ruthless. Strike 3.

Duke is an easy team for me to respect, a hard team for me to like. I truly enjoyed watching Virginia Commonwealth University beat them. But I know that my joy will be short-lived because they will re-load and add 3 or 4 McDonalds All-Americans next year, again. But I will enjoy the program’s down-time, no mater how brief it is.

Go Heels.

A Nice Day for a White Wedding

2007-03-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

Last weekend Paula and Joe tied the knot. By every measure it was a smashing success. Despite the torrential snowfalls, everyone was able to make it… eventually.

Paula’s maid of honor and her husband were forced to spend a night in Eau Claire after their car spun-out into a ditch along I-94. Sounded like a pretty hairy situation, they were lucky no other vehicles were nearby. They waited about an hour for the tow-truck, but all things considered it could have been much worse. Blowing and drifting snow covered the roads Thursday night, but by Friday they were mostly clear.

The groom’s dinner was at the Local. We were the first group to use a new private party room just off the main bar area. It was a sweet location for a rehearsal dinner. Low, arched ceilings and dim back lighting created an intimate wine cellar atmosphere. Everyone had some delicious and filling heavy hors d'oeuvres (stuffed mushrooms, kabobs, finger sandwiches and delicious brownies to name a few.) I was very impressed.

The service itself went-off without a hitch. There were some minor disturbances, but nothing that could be said to have spoiled the beautiful ceremony. Even Lucy behaved herself. As Paula said to her after the ceremony, “You were good during the service Lucy. Good, not great, I’ll give you a B+.”

There were a number of refreshing aspects of the wedding. First, I thought it was great that the ceremony and the reception were at the same place. No one had to run around in between. The service started relatively late (4:30), and yet there was plenty of time for an unrushed dinner and reception.

I also enjoyed the non-traditional photographer. She took more cameo shots, which often turn-out better. A good photographer can capture the true emotion of a moment. There was minimal posing in the group shots, just quick efficient photography.

Finally, because it would have created an awkward set-up in the reception room, Joe and Paula decided to forgo the traditional long head table. All the tables were round. This allowed the significant others of the bridal party to sit with the party.

During my brief speech I took the opportunity to needle Joe and Paula a little bit, as well as the Green Bay Packer fans in attendance. (I would guess there was close to a 50/50 split.) I was happy with the response I got from the crowd. I avoided swearing or using hookers in a joke. It went well if I do say so myself.

There was lots of alcohol and dancing. I was a party animal until about 11:15 when the Champagne, Gin and beer all seemed to take effect at the same time. Amber and I lasted until midnight, and left about 5 minutes after Paula and Joe did.

It was a long day: Long on laughs, long on smiles, and long on love. Congrats Joe and Paula.

Careful What You Wish For…

2007-03-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

At this time last week in Minneapolis, there were sparse pockets of melting snow. I was dismayed. I wanted some freaking snow. I like the challenge of inclement weather. Nothing adds drama to everyday activities like a good blizzard. It triggers survival mode, it awakens primal instincts. No task is monotonous when “the climate is actively trying to kill you.”

So until the snow started coming down fast and furious last Saturday, Ambular had to endure my bitching and moaning. I was supremely disappointed last Saturday morning when I woke-up to find less than an inch of snow. I was geared-up for an avalanche after listening to the local forecasters talk about the possibility likelihood of a “monster snow storm.” I was angry; I made irrational threats on Paul Douglas’ life.

As Saturday wore-on though, more and more snow fell. I was excited. Ambular, Laura, and I went to David and Carols for their sweet Hawaii 5-0 party. By the time we left all the metro roads were covered with at least 3 inches of snow. Even the free-ways were awash in white.

Everything was going fine until I tried to coax the Malibu into the alley and onto the garage. I had to shovel a path to attempt to gain enough momentum to make it up the slight incline. No luck. No problem, I’ll just try the other end of the alley. Drive to the corner, get stuck. Shovel, rock the Bu out. Get to the other end of the alley, get stuck. Shovel, rock the Bu out.

At this point it is 2:30 in the morning and my excitement is quickly being replaced with frustration. I come to grip with the fact that my car will have to spend the night on the street. I pick-out a spot near the alley entrance and shovel a spot for it. After a little maneuvering I get the Bu into its temporary home. And trudge home and collapse into bed.

Since then it has been nothing but a lot of shoveling. Another snow-dump this weekend, and I’ve had enough snow for the year.

Terrific Tenacity

2007-02-25T20:50:00.000-08:00

Today I watched the Ohio State / Wisconsin grudge-match. Number one (Ohio State in the Coaches poll) playing number one (Wisconsin in the media poll), for the Big Ten title. It was a great game. Two ruggedly tenacious teams fought for everything they got. It had the felling of a Discovery Channel death-match between a snake and a mongoose.

While I finished shoveling this evening, the game was still rolling through my mind. For my money, it was a great game because it was an intensely physical defensive battle. While Ohio State and Wisconsin literally kicked-the-crap out of each other, the game wasn’t chippy. Nor did I notice any overt trash-talking or me-first grandstanding.

I guess the old school style of the game shouldn’t have surprised me. Thad Matta and Bo Ryan are no non-sense coaches that preach fundamentals. Greg Oden and Alando Tucker are both hard working humble stars who let their talent talk, instead of their mouths.

It was refreshing to watch two classy teams square-off for the right to be number 1. The game wetted my appetite for March Madness. I look forward to the inevitable drubbing of a more talented ACC or SEC team by a gutsy hard working Big Ten squad.

I wondered what others were saying about the game. So I checked a couple of sites and stumbled across Gregg Doyel’s article “Who’s No. 1? Hopefully, neither team in Columbus.” Like an uneducated loud-mouthed critic, he bitches about the low scoring nature of the game and takes cheap personal attacks at well-meaning collegiate athletes. He gives a voice to the worst parts of American fandom, he makes bombastic statements that lack any shred of intellectual insight. But I guess he has a right to his opinion.

I’ll admit that from time to time I get caught up in the excitement of the Phoenix Suns’ or Dallas Mavericks’ brand of run-and-gun basketball. But I equally appreciate the tension of a good defensive struggle between two evenly matched teams. Unfortunately, in America today, I’m in the minority. It seems most American fans increasingly want flashy, boastful style over gritty, humble substance.

I feel sorry for any viewers who turned off the low-scoring Badger - Buckeye battle… they missed one hell of a game.

Take That Tim Hardaway

2007-02-22T15:54:00.000-08:00

Thank you for pointing this out David.

The perfect retort to Tim Hardaway's Homophobia:

NE Pub-Crawl: A New Twist on an Old Favorite

2007-02-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

Saturday night Gates Brown, Law Rez, PW, and I toured Nord’east. We started at Mayslacks for some roast beef goodness. We got there just in time to beat the $5 cover, and we snagged the last table in the place, which surprisingly was also the best table in the bar. For those familiar with Mayslacks, it was the table immediately adjacent to the door, on a slightly raised stage. The night was off to a great start.

Even though Mayslacks is under new ownership, the famous beef was de-lish. I guess you really “can’t beat their meat.” Joe joined us for drinks while the rest of us stuffed our faces with gobs of delectable beef. The service was less than stellar, it took an awfully long time to get the house specialty, but that was my only complaint.

After Mayslacks, we crossed the river for a brew at Stand-Up Franks. Interesting things happened to us, and around us for the entire 20 minutes we where there. If you want to know more about the details, you’ll have to ask one of us.

Next was the N.E. Yacht Club. We had another round of beers. But we didn’t stay long and we were soon off to the next watering hole.

We had another beer at Stasius and enjoyed the cover band and the “stand-up shower urinals.” The cover band was anything but ordinary. This five man group sang “Regulate” by Warren G and Michael Jackson’s classic: “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough.” And they did a damn fine job with both.

After that, we made the one drink related stop of the evening: Tony Jaros’ for a round of “Greenies.” For anyone unfamiliar with “Greenies,” they are a Nord’east legend. All I know about them is that 1) They are green, 2) they have vodka in them, 3) they go down way-too-easy, and 4) they pack a potent punch. They are quite refreshing no mater the season. If you’ve never had one, put it on your Twin Cities to do list.

Our final bar stop was Grumpy’s. I’ve always liked N.E. Grumpy’s because it’s never too busy. I usually manage to get a booth, and the service is always top notch. There was one last round of beers, and we had one last stop to make.

Checking-out Nord’east bars that we had never been to was the theme for the night. And none of us had ever been to the 22nd Avenue Station. We’d heard various rumors and legends about the neighborhood strip-joint, but had never seen it for ourselves.

Unfortunately, we got to the door just as they were closing… boooooo. Or disappointment was tempered when a female patron walked out the door, and sensing our dismay said, “Don’t worry guys… she wasn’t that hot.”

Well, we would have liked to have been the judges of that. I’m sure she was right though. But we didn’t let it ruin our night.

Thanks gents, it was a blast.

Casino Royal: Super Human Bond with Super Great Bonus Narration

2007-02-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

Last night Amber and I went to Casino Royal. All in all, we gave it 4 thumbs-up. Good pacing, believable villains, and terrific action scenes. Daniel Craig brought a rough, slightly depressed Bond to the screen; quite a contrast to Pierce Brosnan’s spit-shinned version. The more muted, yet still heroic Bond worked well in Casino Royal.

As an added bonus we had Ma and Pa Obvious behind us. Ma and Pa Obvious, a middle aged couple, found it necessary to share their thoughts with those of us unlucky enough to sit next to them. They made no attempt to whisper. During the chase scenes, every stunt was accompanied by a loud gasp or comment. And the comments were decidedly infantile. During the poker scenes Ma Obvious would give her analysis of the cards as they fell.

2, 6, 5 on the flop

“Oh, those are bad cards.” Ma remarked.

K, Q, J, K

“Wow, now those are good cards.” She later blurted out.

I almost turned around and said, “Depends on what you have in your hand. Now shut-up!” I didn’t because I’m as passive aggressive as they come. (Being raised Lutheran in Minnesota will do that to you) So I just shot them my dirtiest, dirty looks. But Ma and Pa continued to give obvious commentary, undaunted by my best dirty looks.

For some reason I’ve run into a lot of lousy movie neighbors recently. And my “are you going to shut-up or am I going to have to move” looks have been less than effective. Maybe there are more rude people at the movies on the weekend. I don’t know, but it is sucking the joy out of my movie-going experience.

Tim Hardaway: “I Hate Gay People”

2007-02-16T14:21:00.000-08:00

Former NBA player Tim Hardaway uttered those very words while being interviewed on a radio show this week. He went on to add, “I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States.”

WOW!

No active NBA player has ever come-out, and until recently neither had a retired player. That was until John Amaechi, who played for the Cleveland Cavs, Orlando Magic, & Utah Jazz, came-out 3 weeks ago. It set off a flurry of questions and discussion about homophobia in the NBA specifically, and in sports more generally. In the last couple of weeks, nearly every major NBA star has been asked about how he would relate to a gay teammate.

As soon as Amaechi revealed he was gay, I knew that someone would get in trouble for saying something inflammatory. Before Mr. Hardaway opened his mouth, there had been a couple of minor missteps, but nothing that could be characterized as homophobic or hateful.

For example, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said, “From a marketing perspective, if you’re a player who happens to be gay and you want to be incredibly rich, then you should come out, because it would be the best thing that ever happened to you from a marketing and an endorsement perspective. You would be an absolute hero to more Americans than you can ever possibly be as an athlete, and that’ll put money in your pocket.”

Considering the source, this statement seems even less inflammatory. Cuban is known for causing controversy. In this case, he appears clairvoyant. (Although, anyone with half a brain could have seen this shit-storm on the horizon) He went on to say, “On the flip side, if you’re the idiot who condemns somebody because they’re gay, then you’re going to be ostracized, you’re going to be picketed and you’re going to ruin whatever marketing endorsements you have.”

Ooops-sie Tim.

Unsurprisingly, the NBA and Commissioner David Stern have cut Tim Hardaway out of the weekend festivities. So instead of doing promotional work for the NBA in Vegas for the All-Star game, Tim Hardaway was told to go home. An instant hit to the pocket book. I can't imgaine Tim Hardaway has a lot of endorsement revenue coming in at this point, but any that he did have will soon be gone. And he should start tipping better, or he should expect to have more valets send him to gay clubs.

"I hate gay people" will follow Tim Hardaway just like Fuzzy Zoeller's racist stereotyping at the 1997 Masters follows him.

“That little boy (Tiger Woods) is driving well and he's putting well. He's doing everything it takes to win. So, you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say congratulations and enjoy it and tell him not to serve fried chicken next year. Got it?"

Then Zoeller smiled, snapped his fingers, and walked away. Then he turned and added, "or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve."

Tim Hardaway and Fuzzy Zoeller both have had very fine careers in their respective sports. But their various accomplishments will forever be overshadowed by their insensitive and ignorant quotes. The comments will follow them forever.

Zoeller has done a good job rehabbing his image. But no matter how nice Fuzzy is, he will never shake the stigma of what he said. And neither will Tim Hardaway.

And that is the price you pay for thoughtless speech.

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

Ambular and I have a nice romantic evening planned, here's a preview...

Get Your Webpage Off Me!

2007-02-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

Do you feel better after unloading your anger or frustration on something or someone else? I know I do. To be honest, it is the main reason I have a blog. Even though my rants may never reach the intended target(s), I feel better just getting them out of my head. And with the unlimited reach of the internet, it’s possible that some of my opinions find their way to the intended subjects.

With that as an intro, here is #35 on my list of things that get under my skin.

Everyone who has ever surfed the “internets” has, at one time or another, stumbled across at least a few “quicksand pages.”* Quicksand pages try to trap you in their electronic snare, and render your back button useless. Anyone who has ever peaked at a porn site knows what I’m talking about. You make one wrong click and suddenly you are trapped in a sea of pop-ups with little hope of escape.

At one time, porn sites, penis pill pushers, and mortgage sites were the only ones who deployed this less than scrupulous tactic. Now, “legit” websites are trying to keep you locked up on their turf. Today, I was reading an article that had an imbedded link to what I thought was a picture of the “Burger King, king.” I click… and no king, only the main Burger King page. So I attempt to return to my regularly scheduled reading, but no. My back button only refreshes the Burger King page. And I realize, Burger King has resorted to porn-site techniques.

In many ways, websites employing the quicksand method are like unsuccessful daters. They both turn people off by showing an unusual level of desperation. If a site has to resort to trapping surfers, it tells me that its content is lacking or that it has some other sort of defect.

So to all the net programmers out there…

Get your webpage off me!

* Copyrighted 2007 Gopher-Goof

Hypocrisy + Blind Greed = Bruce Lambrecht

2007-02-10T07:57:00.000-08:00

As a Twins fan, I was giddy when last year’s legislature allowed Hennepin county to impose a county-wide sales tax to finance the construction of an outdoor stadium behind the Target Center, thereby freeing the Twins from the Metrodome. It was the culmination of years of effort by team officials, county commissioners, and state officials. Finally, the Twins would have a baseball park.

But some recent developments have cast doubt about not only when a new Twins ballpark will open, but if it will open at all. From what I understand, county officials failed to secure the land before a $12.95 million purchase option had expired. Now, the land owners, an investment group lead by Bruce Lambrecht, has reportedly requested somewhere between $40-60 million for the same piece of land. With an already tightly budgeted stadium project, that’s just not going to work. But unfortunately, as it exists today, the stadium deal is site specific so the investment group and Bruce Lambrecht have the Twins and Hennepin County over a barrel.

Yesterday, I was IM-ing with Joe about these recent Twins stadium developments. I suggested that someone should publish the names and addresses of the investment group so that the public can *ahem* tell them what they think about their “negotiation” tactics. For that mater, the Hennepin County officials who dropped the ball on the original purchase option should also get a heaping helping of public ire for creating the mess to begin with.

Then today, I got my wish. Patrick Reusse wrote a column ripping the investment group for their suddenly inflated demands. He also pointed-out how hypocritical Bruce Lambrecht has been throughout the whole process. It seems that Lambrecht

“was the co-founder of Citizens for Fiscal Responsibility. Among the ideas that he opposed vociferously was the creation of a train line, the North Star Line, from St. Cloud to downtown Minneapolis.

Then, Lambrecht discovered that the train would run through land that he owned with others on the northern edge of downtown Minneapolis.

Uff-da! Lambrecht had an epiphany and started attending pro-North Star meetings and showing his support.”

So now, a one time “fiscal responsibility” advocate, Lambrecht is attempting to stick it to Hennepin county tax-payers by fleecing them over the land needed to build a Twins stadium. Greedy AND hypocritical is no way to go through life. I hope that Lambrecht and his fellow investors get what they so richly deserve… nothing, other than public shame.

If you’d like to send Mr. Bruce Lambrecht a note, his address is:
2841 Ella Lane
Minnetonka, MN 55305*

Or if you’d rather give him a call, his phone number is:
(612)349-2775*

Sid's Take: Stadium Site Landowners Undermining Twins Plans

Downtown Journal story: Has Twinsville Struck Out?

*According to his 2005 Campaign Finance Board Filing

Old School Scents

2007-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

As a newly minted attorney, without a job yet, I fell like this Old Spice commercial is taunting me. It’s on ESPN, it’s on the major networks, it’s everywhere I turn. Do the executives at Old Spice really expect Old Spice to make a comeback?

Marketing Old Spice to “the more experienced” among us makes sense. I don’t know too many people under the age of 35 who use Old Spice. (Using their deodorant is one thing, splashing on Old Spice cologne is another.) My dad used to use it, but even he has moved-on to other scents.

I’m sure there are plenty of life-long Old Spice users out there who will never wear a different cologne. But can the marketing department really expect members of the Axe / Tag / Metro-sexual generation to start wearing a musky scent? Seems unlikely.

I don’t seek reader input very often, but I would appreciate it if you would post a comment and give me your opinion on Old Spice. Men: Your age and if you use it. Women: Do you like the smell of it?

Ping-Pong Madness

2007-02-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

Raw talent + an unhealthy obsession =

Freezing Fun

2007-02-06T12:39:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, as if it wasn’t cold enough in the Twin Towns, I ventured further north for Joe B’s bachelor party. Going into the weekend, Joe, Josh, Jake, Mike, Lance, Damo, and I knew that we were going to be stuck in the cabin for the bulk of our time on the north shore. No skiing or snowshoeing for us. We were all a little disappointed. Nevertheless, we took full advantage of our time inside.

Even though we were stuck inside the weekend was a great time. We all got to indulge in our various vices, play cards, and watch a string of man-flicks. Fight Club, Big Lebowski, Spinal Tap, and Caddyshack were all, as always, fun to watch. Often you need a weekend away or other special occasion to dust-off the classics.

Some of us also got to engage in a rock’em-sock’em game of Risk. If we had been able to venture outside we never would have been able to finish the game. Like Monopoly, to play Risk properly, you need at least 4 people who are stuck together for an extended period of time. Lanny took home the win, and yours truly came in second. (He took Australia on the first turn and never lost it. I started in South America, moved into Africa, but couldn’t hold either of them long-enough to pull-off a victory.)

Lake Superior steamed all weekend long. It looked like a fantasy or sci-fi movie backdrop. On Saturday a few of us made our one substantial venture outside of the cabin to walk down to the lakefront. The frozen water flows and instantly freezing spray were spectacular. A couple people offered money to anyone willing to jump into the 34-35 degree water, but there were no takers. The thought of it sent shivers down my spine.

Good times.

Cunningham Muffins!

2007-01-26T13:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is about this video, but it makes me laugh every time.

Thanks Mike.

Happy Friday.

Blood.

Globalization and the New Robber Barons

2007-01-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve always been interested in economic analysis, especially at the macro-level. I would have majored in Economics if I had been better at math, but I wasn’t, so I didn’t. The concepts and theories of Economics are easy to understand, creating the models and testing hypothesis are where Economists make there money.

There is no better example of this than “Globalization.” Most people can intuitively comprehend the ins-and-outs of a shift from national markets to a global market. But it is extremely difficult to accurately measure or even quantify many of the effects of global integration. Globalization works in amorphous and mysterious ways. It slowly erodes traditional modes of economic organization and produces new ones at break-neck speed.

Globalization is, on balance, a good thing. But in the current geo-political landscape it could create a large number of “losers.” I am not about to argue against the gains freer trade and more efficient allocation of labor activities produce. Global trade has no doubt increased the absolute wealth of the world. Ultimately everyone will be better off if countries resist the urge to engage in various forms of protectionism. But I do have a problem with unflinching faith in free markets, especially on a global scale. Until there is a powerful independent form of global governance, I am skeptical that the global community will be able to avoid repeating some of the most disastrous mistakes of our past.

America’s economic experience since the Industrial Revolution illustrates a couple of free-market-evils. The average America has been defrauded numerous times by the “Robber Barons” of the 19th century, Ken Lay, Bill McGuire, and many, many other like minded shysters. And while Capitalism is without a doubt the most efficient and productive form of economic organization, it has its flaws too.

Federal Anti-Trust law was created to battle monopolistic tendencies that are inherent in Capitalism. With out anyone looking over their shoulder, robber barons got ahead by using any and all means necessary to dominate their industry. If one company was better situated economically, its leader would leverage that power against rivals until they collapsed. Eventually the remaining company (or companies in the case of cartels) had tremendous power over its piece of the economic pie. This is why independent governance is necessary. Without the ability to break-up capitalism’s “winners,” monopolies wield a frightening amount of power.

As those at the top concentrate power, they typically concentrate wealth. Twenty-five, thirty years ago CEOs made 20 times the average laborers salary. Today, CEOs make 400 times the average laborers salary. This growing disparity is driven by both the devaluation of labor, and a second coming for the “robber baron mentality.”

Strong, independent governance is needed to prevent widespread corruption. Business people are, by their very nature, competitive. And competition is the engine that drives Capitalism. But without proper oversight, competition entices many to bend the rules. Ken Lay and his Enron cronies thought they could get away with pencil-whipping Enron investors. Bill McGuire and a host of others thought they could back-date their stock options without anyone noticing. Both of these scams were wildly successful, even with the SEC around.

Unfortunately neither the WTO, nor the UN are equipped to assume oversight or redistribution responsibilities. Nor is the United States ready to retrain or compensate those who have lost their jobs to cheaper sources of labor abroad. Until these systemic problems are solved, or at least somewhat mitigated, the rich will get richer and labor will get poorer.

It’s good to be a baron.

Visa is a Liar

2007-01-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

Visa has been running this commercial a lot lately. And it annoys me to no end. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but the new trend of using your check-card for everything is a pet-peeve of mine.

Check-cards have made some transactions quicker, no doubt about it. And they have made checks virtually obsolete. No longer must we wait in line at a grocery store while someone balances their checkbook instead of bagging their groceries. But to insinuate that check-cards are faster than cash is just silly.

How many times have you been out with a group of friends for dinner or drinks, you get the check and 7 people throw check-cards down. Not a problem if the bill can be split evenly. But that doesn’t work when I order the fillet mignon and someone else just has drinks. So the poor waitperson has to try to keep 7 different portions separate and run 7 different cards through. Inevitably there is a mistake and a second or third trip is required. This is not a very efficient process.

The pervasive use of check-cards also has an untoward effect on the hospitality industry. If a patron tips on their check-card, a paper trail prevents servers from deciding how much of their tips they are going to claim. I’m not advocating tax dodging, I only point this out to say that you tip isn’t worth as much when you put it on your card. And how do you tip valets or sky-caps with check cards?

With the ubiquitousness of ATMs is it really that hard to keep a little cash in your pocket? If you are heading out for a night, is it that inconvenient to stop at a cash machine? On behalf of hospitality workers everywhere, I ask that everyone make an effort to carry a little cash with them. Besides if you try it, you just might like it.

Personally, I like keeping a little bit of green in my pocket. It makes my life easier. And I will continue to carry cash (in addition to my check-card) until the neighborhood kids’ lemonade stand takes Visa.

"20,000 men on the dead man's chest- Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!”*

2007-01-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

The Iraq war has reached a tipping-point… or so George Bush would have us believe. Wednesday night he presented his case to the American people. Stead-fast in his pursuit of “victory,” 20,000 more soldiers will be sent to Baghdad to sweep-out and hold the neighborhoods of the Iraqi capital. Will the additional man power tip the scales in favor of the Iraq government? Will the Iraqi security forces finally “step-up?” I hope they do. But no mater how sure Bush is, he has to be feeling hot under the collar.

Almost immediately after the Iraq war began, the congressional and popular support for the President began slipping. Sure, Bush still has John McCain (R-AZ) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and a handful of others in his corner. But when former Presidential lap dogs like Norm Coleman (R-MN) and Sam Brownback (R-KS) start to turn… Bush must be worried.

Bush is the captain of a pirate ship and the mutiny is brewing. He is attempting to keep the crew working toward the “treasure,” but day by day the subordinates are losing moral. Yet Bush will not, or cannot, come to terms with either the scope or nature of the problem. There was a recent ray of hope that he had turned the corner. When Bush commissioned a bi-partisan panel to look at the worsening situation in Iraq it looked like he was finally beginning to grasp the problems inherent in his current Iraq policy.

But the Iraq commission now appears to be little more than another attempt to rally support for an unpopular war. Bush is doing everything he can to keep up the façade, as if admitting defeat is worse than defeat itself. He knows that his presidency will be judged by the perceived success or failure in Iraq. And Bush either honestly believes that “winning” in Iraq will set-off a domino effect in the Middle East, ending terrorism and installing democracy through out the region. Or he has resigned himself to the battle of perception. Either way, putting 20,000 more American lives in the balance is both reckless and desperate.

Forgive me if I don’t believe that Bush thoughtfully considered all the advice that he was offered. Until he acknowledges that we are fighting a cultural battle with military forces, there can be little hope for any meaningful progress in Iraq. Meanwhile, more families will have to deal with the loss of loved ones, more soldiers will come back injured and deformed, and the battle for Iraq hearts and minds will be won by insurgents with a radical religiosity that will keep them on the battlefield long after U.S. troops have left.

George Bush does not understand the enemy, he does not understand the culture, and he does not understand the lessons of our past. Yet he sails on undaunted, unwilling to level with the nation. This maybe his last chance, after that… all bets are off.

*Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson

The MN Life in 2007: Now With 50% More Topics Per Post

2007-01-06T11:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long absence, but the holidays kept me moving and I didn’t run into any topics that I felt I needed to write about. But I’ve never let lack of interesting topics stop me before. So to get my blogging mojo back, here is a schizophrenic multi-topic post. I’ll keep the “dairy portion” to a minimum.

First, the holidays were great. Ambular and I spent a relaxing Christmas in Madison. Ambular’s parents gave us a Bose Ipod docking station. It is sweet. Its size is its best feature. It is 12 inches long, 8 inches tall, and the base is about 6 inches wide. And like every Bose, it pumps-out great sound. It makes home stereo systems obsolete.

Second, Ambular and I had a great time at Carol and David’s for New Years. We could have done without the 3 inches of wet snow, but it was nice to fiiinally get some snow. Many lobsters were consumed and much rocking followed. David did a great job cooking the lobsters; they were a delicious holiday treat.

After enjoying the delicious crustaceans, some of us took turns “rocking” on Guitar Hero II. Carol bought it for David for Christmas. It’s more fun than you think it would be; it’s even entertaining to watch. Now, if they could find a way to combine Dance, Dance, Revolution with Sing Star and Guitar Hero…

We both had a great time, many thanks Carol and David.

Third, it amazes me that Joel Maturi, the University of Minnesota Athletic Director, is still employed. He just fired (or did they “resign?”) Glen Mason and Dan Monson after signing them to large contract extensions not that long ago. These “ooopsies” will cost the U of MN athletic department millions. Few people can make a mistake that costs their employer that kind of money and still keep their job. I’m so jealous of Ambular, PW, Laura, and Mike O. and their Badger pride. It’s been ten years since the Final Four that never was. Since then I’ve been waiting for my alma mater to build a respectful football and/or basketball team… (sigh).

Four, just because we are a blue state, the government is picking on us.

Five, I have a new way to define “Irony.”

Finally, happy New Year to all

Happy Holidays Everyone

2006-12-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, heh heh heh.

Glenn Beck & Virgil Goode: Your Stupidity Astounds Us

2006-12-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

I’d been meaning to write a post about Glenn Beck’s “interview” with Keith Ellison (D-MN). (See below) I first saw it on the Daily Show with John Stewart. It shocked me. Did Glenn Beck just insinuate that an elected US Representative is working with the terrorists? I thought the political correctness zealots in charge of television news put an end to bigoted, uneducated speech on the air. I guess I was wrong.

Glenn Beck accused Keith Ellison of embodying the worst stereotypes associated with Muslims, and then asked him to disprove his off-base assumptions. Imagine if Mr. Beck interviewed a U.S. soldier. And he said “I know you’re not a blood-thirsty, violent, megalomaniac… but prove it to me.” Can you imagine the public reaction?

Then yesterday, a letter from Virgil Goode’s (R-VA) office was released to the press. In it Goode warns constituents concerned about Rep. Keith Ellison swearing in on the Koran, that if we don’t end illegal immigration “there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran.”

I think some Americans feel uneasy if they don’t have a target for their fear and hate. They lose a sense of self if they can’t define themselves against a group of people. Throughout our history, various groups have filled the “scary villain” role. (Inset your favorite target of hate in the blanks)

We need to stop ___________. If we don’t keep ____________ out of America we will lose our identity, and eventually be forced to adopt _______________’s values and beliefs.

Now, it is Muslims turn as the target of good old-fashioned ignorant American fear. It is scary that so many Americans equate Muslims with terrorists. They fail to make the mental effort to understand either Islam or terrorism. Not bothered by actual thought, they fall back onto old comfortable xenophobia. If it’s different, it must be bad.

It’s a shame that history’s lessons have gotten so dusty.

It's Getting Hot In Here... So Take Off All Your Clothes

2006-12-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

This past week Ambular and I watched “An Inconvenient Truth.” It is scary. Al Gore lays-out a rock-solid case. There is no getting around the fact that the human race is negatively affecting the earth’s atmosphere.

I had always harbored doubts about global warming. It seemed so distant and theoretical. It could be cyclical; I doubted the existence of a constant warming trend. Besides, as a Minnesotan, I would be fine with turning the global thermostat up a few degrees.

If you have doubts watch “An Inconvenient Truth.” If you have family, friends, co-workers, or Presidents who doubt global warming (or coyly refer to it as “climate change”) try your best to get them to watch it. This is not a partisan issue. This is our latest and greatest challenge as a human-race. (Sorry for the drama, but we absolutely MUST solve this problem. Or at least collectively acknowledge its existence.)

Besides, the coasts are nice places to visit.

Exchanging Ideas: Professor Delahunty Edition

2006-12-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

On 11-18-05 I posted a piece about Professor John Yoo’s presentation to my War & National Security Law class. For those who don’t remember, Yoo was one of the lawyers in the Justice Department who developed the administration’s controversial legal position that the Geneva Convention did/does not apply to Al Qaeda or Taliban prisoners. Yoo also penned the infamous “Torture Memo.”

But while Professor Yoo has gained some infamay and name recognition, his intellectual ally and frequent co-author Robert Delahunty has been able to fly under the radar… until now. The Univeristy of Minnesota Law School has hired Delhaunty to teach Constitutional Law next semester. Professor Delahunty is currently teaching Torts, Constitutional Law, and Public International Law at the University of St. Thomas Law School. Before that he was an attorney in the Office of Legal Council. He, like Yoo, took the position that the Geneva Convention did not apply to “enemy combatants.”

This isn’t a permanent hire, mind you. The professor who normally teaches Con Law at the U of MN is taking a leave of absence. It is my understanding that law schools in the area will “lend” their professors to fill a need at another area law school. Basically, the University of St. Thomas is “doing the U of MN a solid” by filling a need.

But some at Mondale Hall don’t see it that way. Nine U of MN law school profs have signed a letter asking the Co-interm deans to reconsider the decision to have Delahunty teach Con Law for a semester. Not surprizingly, the Delahunty “hire” has split the faculty down the middle along political ideologies. Those opposing Delahunty couch their argument in a debate about “legal ethics.” They claim that Delahunty’s positions were so far from what they believe the law is, that it demonstrats poor and/or unethical professional judgment. And therefore, Delahunty shouldn’t be allowed to teach at the U of MN.

While I do not endorse Delahunty’s position on Geneva Convention applicability, I do not oppose his right to teach Con Law. Conservaties and Liberals are both frequently guilty of employing ideologicial double standards based on context, this is just another example. A true liberal would understand that this kind of ideological warfare should occur in classrooms, not at the front door of a institution of higher learning. Here some left-left leaning professors are looking to censor a distasteful opinion, when true liberals loath censorships in any form.

During my three years at the U of MN I had law professors on each side of the political spectrum. I know I’m better for it. It was always fairly clear when professors were streaching the limits of a legal argument, and I took whatever they were saying with a grain of salt. If law has a fault, its that there are very few absolutes. Therefore, legal education will be full of debateable propositions. It is the nature of the beast.

But law students are not lemmings, hanging on every word their professors spout. If Delahunty’s opposition is successful, and they keep him out of the U of MN, they are ultimately doing a disservice to the students. Sheilding students from some points of view is paternalistic and cuts against academic idealism.

Was Delahunty an adminstration lap-dog? Yes. Was Delahunty’s legal position morally ambiguous? Absolutely. Should Delahunty be allowed to teach Constitutional Law at the Unviersity of Minnesota? Definitely. Last time I checked, this isn’t Russia.

Here is the Minnesota Daily article about the controversy: New Hire Controversial

Hold'n Steady with Dave Grohl and Bob Dylan

2006-11-27T15:59:00.000-08:00

I don’t know why I haven’t blogged about music lately. Usually a new CD or a good show ignites my posting passion. Even though music posts have been scarce, I’ve seen a couple of very good shows and purchased a few excellent CDs recently. Therefore, it’s time to pimp some of the artists that I think you should check-out.

First and foremost, The Hold Steady get top billing because I’ve enjoyed their new CD as much any in a long time and I absolutely loved their show. Lead singer Craig Finn continues to amaze me with both his unique style and his infectious performances. He slings stories of drug-addled youth with a gravelly voice and gritty lyrics. Minneapolis landmarks are sprinkled into the songs, giving them a touch of personalization for those of us in the Twin Cities. I appreciate it when artists give props to my adoptive hometown.

On my birthday, Ambular and I joined PW, Gates Brown, and Bridget for the Hold Steady show. They played a sold-out First Avenue. Never before had I seen a performer so utterly gleeful. Finn was truly the happiest person in the room. He bounced around the stage like a 7 year old kid who knew he was going to get to stay-up late. Those in attendance all seemed to know they were lucky to see Finn’s performance that night. I know I will remember it for a long time.

Here is their video for “Chips Ahoy” off their new album “Boys and Girls in America.” If you like the video at all, you’ll love their disc.

Second, I have a man crush on Dave Grohl. Ambular surprised me with a ticket to the Bob Dylan / Foo Fighters show for my birthday. I was stoked about getting to see Bob support his new album “Modern Times.” But to get both Dylan and the Foo Fighters on the same night was too good to be true. And the show did not disappoint. Both acts wowed the crowd, and would have been worth the price of admission individually.

My Foo Fighters collection has been in heavy rotation lately, and “For Your Honor” grows on me a little more each time I hear it. Dave & Co. make damn fine music.

That's all for now, but check back soon. I'm hitting my blogging stride again, the posts should be more frequent. Cheers.

Bush, Morneau, KG, and Samuel L. Jackson Walk Into A Bar

2006-11-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

There are a couple of things I need to get out…

First, there are new reports out about the Bush administration’s use of domestic surveillance. It appears that “Big Brother” didn’t stop at wiretapping. Maybe I was naïve, but I never gave much thought to the possibility that a modern American government could/would go all 1984 on us. I carelessly dismissed those who expressed paranoid fear of “the man.” Boy was I wrong. This administration has treated accusations of civil rights abuse like most people treat parking tickets. There is always some excuse, and they haven’t changed their behavior.

With Rumsfield’s exit, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales moves to the top of my list of people I want out of authority. I’m not saying there aren’t some valid and enticing aspects of his unwavering “for American security” shtick. I freely admit that I allowed myself to go down that ideological road for a long time; but once Bush tapped the phones it all changed. Because in my mind, what’s the point of protecting the physical integrity of the United States if we allow social freedoms to be eroded that far?

Domestic Surveillance: Who’s eyes are watching you?

On a lighter note…

Canada native Justin Morneau, of the Minnesota Twins, was named MVP of the American League yesterday. Awesome. The Yankees’ Derek Jeter finished second. Double awesome. Finally, I have a reason to respect baseball sportswriters again. Like any good Twins fan, I hate the Yankees. It stems from Minnesota’s inferiority complex, I’ll admit that. But nevertheless, when a small market hero beats out the mega-star it makes me smile. Both players put together MVP-caliber years, but the Yankees would have faired much better without Jeter than the Twins would have without Morneau. And that’s what the MVP should be all about.

Third, It pains me to say it. But I think Bill Simmons is right. Kevin Garnett deserves the chance to play for a winner. He’s trapped by his own loyalty. Too bad the Wolves can’t find a way to keep from tripping over them selves. *Sigh* what could have been.

And finally, because I’m addicted to YouTube, and I’m on a sports-kick right now… Chris Chelios reflects on his junior days where he was coached by Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction) Enjoy: (Warning: Not work friendly)

So Now What?

2006-11-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

As expected, the Democrats took control of both the House and the Senate. For all the criticism heaped upon the Republicans, at least they had a plan. That plan may have been to over-spend, roll-back taxes willy-nilly, demonize gays, and generally piss-off the rest of the world; but at least the party seemed united in their effort. They all called the same hot-line to get the days talking-points, again at the very least uniform.

It has gotten so bad for the Republicans that even Rush Limbaugh is jumping on the ousted-Republican-bashing-bandwagon. Everyone’s favorite “the obese drug-addled gasbag”* said that he feels “almost relieved” that the Democrats have taken control of the legislature. Rush is glad that he no longer has to defend the terrible legislation that his ideological cronies had been producing. OUCH! As a conservative, you know you are in trouble when Rush Limbaugh flips on you.

But now what?

Will the Democrats be able to form a cohesive and rational platform? Or will they squander their new found political gains by failing into their old habit of in-fighting? Will power and the desire to keep it cloud their judgment, like their Republican colleagues?

Forgive me if I am less than confident with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid in charge. I’m afraid that they will not reach-out and build the consensus that a split of control between the legislature and executive demands. I hope it will not (but am afraid it will) turn into pissing contest between Congress and Bush.

Here’s to hoping for good governance for a change.

* On Election night, CNN Democratic pundit Paul Begala spoke these very words on the air. I laughed. Thanks Cristy for preserving that moment of pure punditry perfection.

Borat Learns Football: "Sex Explosion"

2006-11-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

For those of you (like me) who can't get enough of Borat...

When Will the Democrats Learn?

2006-11-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

The Republicans are tied to the post, ready to be executed. Yet, Democrats insist on figuratively untying the Republicans’ hands and giving them a loaded gun. First, John “Munster” Kerry runs his mouth at a campaign stop and labels all U.S. soldiers in Iraq as uneducated. Da-um. A National Guard unit out of Minnesota came up with a clever rebuttal, click on the grey rectangle to view:

Then, Mike Hatch’s running mate Judi Dutcher couldn’t talk about E-85, a subject near and dear to most Minnesota farmers’ hearts. It’s not an unforgivable mistake, but Hatch’s response might be. According to the Duluth News tribune, Mike Hatch called a reporter a “Republican whore.” Double Da-um. Hatch claims that he used the word “hack.” Either way, it is clear Mike Hatch is rattled. He is frustrated and acting childish, not a good way to look coming down the home stretch.

All the Democrats have to do is not mess this election up. Go hide in a hole for 5 days, do whatever it takes to stay out of the news for doing something stupid. The Democratic mantra for the next few days should be: “Don’t be an idiot.” Democrats do not have to be great, innovative, or charismatic. They can just point at Bush, Abramoff, Mark Foley, Iraq, lack of affordable health care options, and the turbo-charged governmental spending that is expanding the national debt. “Trust us America… we cannot do any worse. Give us a shot. Vote angry, vote often.”

Yet the Dems sputter, stubble, and buoy the hopes of Republican candidates everywhere.

Economist Dork vs. Political Scientist Dork

2006-10-30T11:52:00.000-08:00

Shep recently sent me a political quiz that is simple, yet insightful. It takes about 2 minutes to complete. When you’re done, it plots your political stance on a chart. It is well worth the minor time investment.

Once I divulged my political graph result, he sent me this… Greg Mankiw’s Blog. Greg Mankiw is an Economics professor at Ha-vard. Prof Mankiw talks about the challenges facing Treasury secretary Hank Paulson. Mankiw points out the fiscal crises we will inevitably face in the near future. There are definitely reasons to be concerned with America’s economic outlook.

But I do question one of his underlying assumptions.

One of Mr. Paulson's first briefings from the Treasury staff should be about what high taxes have done to the economies of Europe. According to research by Nobel laureate Edward Prescott and by economists Steven Davis and Magnus Henrekson, the high tax rates in Europe have reduced work effort and distorted the industrial mix. The Davis-Henrekson study reports that a tax increase of 12.8 percentage points (a change of one standard deviation) reduces work for an average adult by 122 hours per year.

As to the solely economic aspects of Europe’s high tax rates, I am not going to question Professor Mankiw, who obviously knows more than I do. But you cannot ignore the reality that reasonable people (could/do) disagree about how much work per year is “optimal.” Life, and decisions about how to live it, should not be reduced to mathematical equations. I would argue that the “European economic model,” while less efficient is not necessarily “worse” than the American version. It is just different. Ranking the two will depend upon personal preferences… how much is your freetime worth?

Like most aspects of politics and life, the best course of action is probably somewhere in the middle. Europeans could do better for themselves by working a little more and taxing themselves less. And Americans could improve their quality of life by slowing down and enjoying the fruits of their productive efforts; taking the time to smell the perverbial roses. And while the Bush tax cuts “appear” to have stimulated the economy, America needs to realize that markets are not very good at being socially responsible.

Unfortunately, you cannot always accurately quantify life’s pleasures. Ultimately then, setting tax rates is an exercise in policy as well as economics. Societies (are/should be) judged based on the way they treat those at the bottom. Effiecency is a fine goal, but we should not pursue it blindly.

Games and Weird Al: The Lighter Side of The MN Life

2006-10-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across these net-nuggets. I post them for your enjoyment. Great happy fun times.

The first one is difficult to play, but it includes some sharp political observation: Bush Backrub Game

The second is a good test of your spatial geography skills: 50 States (My scores: 45 out of 50, 15 average miles error, 311 seconds.)

The third is a parody of Mel Gibson's recent debacle: Driving Mel

Oh and if you having seen it, here is Weird Al's new video "White and Nerdy"

Weird Al is a genius.

Mark Kennedy: Get a Clue

2006-10-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

As an educated political observer, I’m amused by Mark Kennedy’s outlandish commercials. Is there anything this guy won’t say to get elected? Does he have a conscience?

All at once Kennedy manages to lie, patronize, and offend. He leans on the tried and true Republican cry of “Democrats = higher taxes.” He claims that Amy Klobuchar wants to ration drugs, has handed out plea bargains willy-nilly, and she is somehow responsible for a rise in the Minneapolis crime rate. He generally comes across as a smarmy smartass. (Please forgive the personal attack, but am I wrong?)

First off, for anyone not familiar with the legal process, plea bargains are a normal part of the legal system. They improve efficiency, reduce costs (save taxpayer $, reducing the need for new taxes), and can protect families from painful trials. Like any tool, they can be abused, but they should not be considered “bad” in and of themselves.

Second, health care costs are rising at unsustainable rates. It is completely irrational to think that we can continue along our current path without denying the less fortunate among us some of the most basic medical care. It is unpleasant to think that economic concerns may reduce our treatment options, but that could soon be a reality. The Republicans have been in control of all three branches for six years, and have done nothing but create a complex medicare drug program. Kennedy, and other Republicans, should avoid talking about healthcare policy like the plague. They have done nothing to get a handle on the upward spiraling costs.

Finally, how much influence does a county prosecutor have on the Minneapolis crime rate? None, zip, zilch. All a prosecutor can do is punish crimes after the fact. I doubt that the madmen firing guns into downtown crowds even know what a county prosecutor is until they sit across from them in court. I guess Mark Kennedy thinks that Ms. Klobechar should have packed some heat and patrolled the streets of Minneapolis herself.

In his most recent ad, Kennedy makes the case for “staying the course” in Iraq. At the end of the ad he states, “I approve this message, even though it may not be what you want to hear.” For once he’s right. We don’t want to hear it you patronizing clown. Go home and review your adult children’s allowance requests, and leave the politics to someone who "gets it."

“On Wisconsin…” and Other Thoughts

2006-10-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Amber and I ventured back to her homeland. We drove into the very heart of the land of cheese and Badgers. My uncle was good enough to get us some Badgers homecoming tickets. The Gophers ably played the roll of homecoming patsy, coughing-up a fumble that was returned for a touchdown on the first drive of the day. For those who didn’t see the game… it got much worse for the Gophers. When the carnage stopped, the score was 48-12. Ouch. I wanted to burn the bright gold “MINNESOTA” sweatshirt I was wearing.

The Gophers are a bad football team. I knew that. That did not surprise me. But I was surprised by my sudden and deep jealously of missing out on a Camp Randal-esque experience in college. The Camp Randal student section, bathed in the early afternoon sun, teemed with intoxicated exuberance. The kind of intoxicated exuberance that is usually only found at Marti Gras and really good college house parties.

At the end of the third quarter, the PA played House of Pain’s “Jump Around.” (Which I understand has become a tradition at Camp Randal) The entire student section convulsed with energy. From a distance it looked like a mosh-pit at a Danzig show. Students bounced violently, the stands pulsed. (It probably helped that the Badgers were up 20+ points and it was homecoming weekend.)

I just hope that officials from the University of Minnesota have taken good notes on the “college atmospheres” around the Big Ten. They need to think about what goes into a great football program as they begin the construction process of the new on-campus football stadium and the area around it. Because the U of M is in a major metropolitan area it will never have the same charm as a Happy Valley, or a Madison. But the administration, the athletic department, and those in charge of the stadium construction should do all they can to foster feelings of pride and excitement. Build a tradition.

If done the correct way, the University of Minnesota will be able to compete with the elite programs in the country. And as Wisconsin has proven, if your athletic programs thrive, so to will your academic programs. Because former Chancellor Donna Shalala realized and believed this, the Badgers have built one of the best all-a-around college experiences in the country.

I just hope that one day the “Gopher-Experience” will rival the Badger-Experience.”

Try Not to Laugh

2006-10-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I got this video from Paula, via Joe. It is 'work-safe' but check your volume settings first.

I'm Back & Hooray!

2006-10-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long absence, I just needed to take a break from blogging. I’ll be much better from here on out. I’ll get back to posting 2-4 times a week.

It is official… I passed the bar. Hooray, oh joy, thank God. I’ll never have to take the Minnesota bar exam ever again. I satisfied every requirement, I jumped through every hoop. I got into law school, wrote papers, took exams, applied for bar admission, I didn’t oversleep, paid the fees, took the bar, and now I’m officially on the other side. The gauntlet did not defeat me.

What an amazing feeling of relief. It is comforting to know that I will not have to retake the bar in February. It is unbelievable.

The only thing that’s better than passing the bar, is finding out that my friends passed as well. I hope that I continue to hear good news from my classmates. So far, so good. Drop a note and let me know.

Dangerous Cooperation

2006-09-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

The other day I caught a story on NPR about the “War on Terror.” Generally NPR stories do a pretty good job of laying out both sides of the issue. There are times their liberal bias spoils an otherwise neutral story, but it at least seems like they are trying to avoid being reflexively liberal. But this is beside the point. I merely meant to cite my source.

The segment involved a national security expert who was talking about the next big threat. He explained that the new trend in interdepartmental communication between the FBI, CIA, and the military is both helpful and dangerous. Helpful in its ability to coordinate our response to ‘typical terror,’ dangerous in the potential new forms of terror it could wreak on America.

Just like the system of ‘checks and balances’ between the three branches of our federal government, the CIA and FBI were purposely set apart to prevent the consolidation of too much power in one locus. “Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Those that created the organizations knew that there would be temptations to abuse power. Keeping the agencies separate creates competition, competition fosters suspicion, and suspicion keeps everyone honest.

I wouldn’t argue the new cooperation is a terrible thing. But I am concerned about the long-term consequences of too much interdepartmental cooperation. I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist, but it is only a mater of time before a corrupt CIA agent meets a corrupt FBI agent and viola… nearly unlimited power. Each agent could play their agency off on the other. They could work together, covering each other’s tracks, diverting attention, wielding the combined power of their agencies.

One would hope that various levels of security clearance, internal structural safeguards, and other prophylactic measures would prevent cross-agency corruption. But humans are smart, shrewd, and calculating. It is only a mater of time before somebody abuses the new found culture of cooperation.

When it happens, I hope it only costs us money and not lives.

The MN Life is Famous Again

2006-09-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

Check this out

Another neat trick... Google "hormel dome dog"

How much longer can it be before The MN Life takes over the world?

Crocodile Hunter Dead at 44

2006-09-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

It was only a matter of time...

He taunted numerous dangerous animals, especially large reptiles. It was only a mater of time before one of Mother Nature’s little critters rose up and fought back. I do not mean to make light of an untimely death, but this is the same guy who thought his infant child should be part of his “crocodile dancing” show. So pardon me if I do not sound all that reverent.

You play with fire…

Satisfying Violence

2006-09-01T17:30:00.000-07:00

A man is capable of all kinds of monstrosities when he is backed into a corner. And trust me; this was not going to be pretty no mater how it went down. It seemed so senseless, yet so necessary.

I had promised myself I would never do it again. She, had promised me I’d never have to do it again. But there I was… faced with two choices I didn’t like.

Even though there were other options, I could not have lived with myself if I had taken an easy way out. No, not this time, this time it was going to have to be violent, dirty, and raw. I was going to have to roll-up my sleeves and get a little sweaty.

Could I ignore my own common sense? Was the violence necessary? What if somebody walked-in on me, and caught me mid-act? What would happen if I could not finish the job?

The questions swirled. But the time for questioning was over… it was time for action. I only had an hour to complete the act… precious little time.

I pulled out my hammer, unsure of where to begin, and brought it down leading with the claw… THUD. I knew instantly that I would have to find a better way. The hammer was only going to increase the gore. Hacksaw…? No a hacksaw would probably be worse.

Next, I tried a screwdriver. Perfect, I thought. Although I would be pressed for time, I knew that with a screwdriver I could be exacting and less sloppy. It wasn’t always easy, often I had to contort into unusual positions. But I made steady progress, carrying pieces out to the dumpster as I worked them free. Once I got rolling, I was able to work much quicker.

Soon the entire works was in the dumpster. Never to be seen again.

…
…
…

Ambular is officially out of here old apartment. I just described “moving Ambular’s sleeper sofa.” It was heavy, bulky… a pain in the ass to move. It has caused heat exhaustion, bent toenails, and all forms of bumps and bruises.

The last time we moved it, we swore (hoped) it would be the last time. To make a long story short, Ambular tried to get rid of it, but no luck. The apartment needed to be vacated by the 31st and we don’t have a truck, so our options were limited. We would have to find some way to deal with it.

We tried, with Joe’s help to move it out by the dumpster. But on the way out the door it slipped and collided with Joe’s toe. Joe was wearing sandals… ouch. After that we debated leaving it versus tearing it apart and removing it piece-by-piece.

So yesterday, before I caddied, I went to the apartment with a hammer, a hacksaw, a screwdriver set, a drill, and a shop-vac. Some how, someway, I was going to dismantle the beast and get it out of the abode.

I was amazed at how tough it was to get started. Once I knocked-out the first corner it was pretty easy and somewhat enjoyable. It’s not everyday that you get to recklessly destroy a couch. I would have paid to have been able to do it when I was 12.

Man versus couch…

Man: 1
Couch: 0

Boundary Waters Part I

2006-08-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long absence, but Ambular and I have been out gallivanting around in a canoe in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. Here is a brief review of our trip, to be sung to the tune of Gilligan’s Island. Soon, I’ll post pictures and a bit more detail about our adventures. Thanks again Matt, Katie, Hans, and Jenny.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this northern path,
aboard three tinny ships.
The mates were might rowing men,
the women brave and sure.
Six adventurers set out that day for five day tour,
a five day tour.

At time the waves were very rough,
Lake Bald Eagle tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless group their canoes would be lost,
their canoes would be lost.

Each night their canoes set shore on enchanted campsites.
With beautiful views, and fire pits.
A bear cub, and its mom?
The latrine,
The rodents and gourmet meals…

Here on our canoe trip.

I New It Had To Be Too Good To Be True

2006-08-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

Every August, hope spring-eth eternal for the Viking faithful. And by mid month... well...
Koren Robinson Arrested for Drunk Driving... his year... make that career could be over. (At least Maurice Clarett will have someone to "get his goose-on" with and talk about what could have been.)

Koren's Boozing

+

1st Round Pick Chad Greeway done for the year.

=

Another promising, yet ultimately unsatisfying, year of Vikings football ahead.

And somewhere Mike Holmgren flashes a knowing smile.

"Told you so..."

Big Papi: My Favorite Mistake?

2006-08-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

I try to avoid blogging about sports. There are enough sports writers out there that do it better (or at least more often) than me, and far too few interesting topics to go around. But I just caught David Ortiz’s Sunday Conversation on ESPN and cannot help myself. I’ll try not to make a habit of it.

With the perfect knowledge of hindsight, the Twins made a huge mistake letting David Ortiz go. No doubt about it. Big Papi is a one man wrecking ball at the plate. He’s a legit MVP candidate and once of the best clutch hitters of all time. Bill Simmons compared him Larry Bird, and deservedly so. How could the Twins have given up on this guy? National commentators scoff at the Twins for waiving him.

But it is not as simple as it seems. The Twins may have stifled Ortiz, fighting is natural swing tendencies. But they did not miss out on some sort of “David Oritz era” of Twins baseball. David Ortiz would not have become the player he is today if he was still a Twin. He would have been a career .290, 25 home run, 90 rbi designated hitter. I know the Twins would jump at the prospect of those numbers from the DH spot, but those are not the eye popping 40-55 home runs and 110-150 rbi that fans around the world have come to expect from Big Papi.

I maintain that Ortiz needed to be waived by Twins. It gave him a change of scenery and a burning motivation. Most importantly, he needed Manny Ramirez lurking behind him in the order. Or any smart opposing teams would have walked him every other at bat. David Ortiz needed the bright lights and big stage. Without the Yankee / Red Sox rivalry and Game 6 A.L.C.S. home run he is a just a “good player” instead of “one of the best late inning hitters baseball has ever seen.”

With the Twins, he was little more than an injury prone, inconsistent hitter. He had five and half years of ups and downs, nagging injuries, and mediocre glove-work. He maddened fans by showing signs of promise, but never putting it together for any extended period of time. Nothing about him screamed “MVP.”

Just as Michael Jordan would not have become the mythical figure he is today if he hadn’t played for the Bulls. And it is pretty clear that Derek Jeter would not be a super star if he didn’t play in New York. In the same ways David Ortiz would never have become “Big Papi” if he stayed with the Twins.

Finally, it is a stone cold truth that the Twins would not have been able to pay him the money he could have demanded. It is nice to dream about the idea of David Ortiz as the most popular Twin since Kirby. But that just would not have been the case. For all the reasons above, I’m not disappointed the Twins waived Big Papi.

Now I realize that this post might be a thinly-veiled attempt at rationalizing a poor decision by my favorite baseball team. But whatever actually motivated me to write this, I just wish that the national media would stop inferring that the Twins organization was “out of its collective mind” for waiving David Ortiz. It’s not that simple.

Here's a great article about... "The Curse of David Ortiz"

Sven Sundgaard: Sum'tin Like a Svenomenon

2006-08-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

I can’t deny the overwhelming crush of people who keep seeking out the “Great Swedish Hope.” Their voices (well, their typing) are strong and clear: “We need more Sven.” But what is it that compels so many people to google “Sven Sundgaard?”

Is it his oh so trendy spiky hair? (He deserves a walk-on roll on the OC.)

Is it his easy going Swedish style? (Just like Swedish meatballs: void of spiciness, but still appealing.)

Or could it be his boyish looks?

Are people settling bets about his age? (25 by the way… that’s right ladies young, single, and “he’s rich bitch.”)

Is it his blog? (We all know how much hot ass I’ve had thrown at me after I admitted that I have a blog, right Ambular?)

I know that many of you have stumbled across my humble blog in pursuit of Sven. So what gives… what is you fascination with the “Svenomenon?”

+ Sven, or someone who claimed to be Sven, read my blog and posted a comment. Sven, if you stop by again… I was just wondering if my post assisted the development of the “Svenomenon” nickname. I’m just curious, and would love to brag about the expanding influence of The MN Life. Keep up the good work… Barlow who?

Dine and Dash?

2006-08-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

Last night, Ambular and I went to one of the best restaurants around… “Mike and Jenny’s.” The food was terrific and the company was entertaining. PW, Nancy, Gates, Bridgette, Ambular, and I showed-up, drank wine, and ate delicious food.

Except for a freak neighborhood dumpster fire, the evening could not have been better. Mike and Jenny have a sweet apartment. It has an updated kitchen, refinished floors, and a nearly completed nursery. It fits them perfectly.

The kitchen is worthy of a chef. Jenny whipped-up a summer dinner fit to be served in the finest local restaurants. Vegetables, cheeses, grilled chicken, and my favorite: melon wrapped in prosciutto. The food was so good the lively pre-dinner conversation ceased once it was served. A hush fell over the room, except for the consistent "mmmmmmmmmms" offered after the first taste of each dish.

After more spirited conversation and another glass of wine, Jenny rolled-out some spectacular blueberry cobbler. Warm and yuMMMMmmmmy. It was all so very good. I felt like I had skipped-out on a check.

Many thanks Mike and Jenny, well mostly Jenny.

Monday News: A Couple of Thoughts

2006-07-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

Do you remember a kid by the name of Danny Almonte? Five years ago he was the talk of the sporting world as the dominating little league pitcher with falsified Dominican birth records. It was later uncovered that Danny was unaware of his father’s “fuzzy math.”

I just discovered that Danny is a newlywed. He’s 19, she’s 30. Apparently age ain’t nothing but a number for the Almontes.

And…

The Star Tribune’s resident conservative columnist Katherine Kersten is at it again. Oh, those poor people who live near the boundary waters. Shame on the federal government, and its pesky laws, protecting a great national treasure. All the locals want to do run some bulldozers into one of the most unspoiled natural environments in the country… what’s the big deal? It’s only “salvage logging.” According to Kersten's underlying logic, we should allow clear cutting in the boundary waters because people did it in the past.

I’m no tree-hugger, but STFU. Laws that protect and preserve the natural state of the boundary waters do not create an “unnatural fuel load.” (I realize that most of the quotes are from state Rep. David Dill, DFL-Crane Lake, but it is clear that Kersten is adopting the statements by publishing them.)

Like the people who live near the San Andreas fault-line, Tornado Alley, or downtown Detroit, we all bear the risks associated with the place we live. Allowing loggers into the boundary waters to prevent forest-fires makes about as much sense as building a twenty-foot-high concrete wall along the east coast to protect against hurricanes.

It makes me sick to my stomach whenever I read conservative commentary that bemoans the “sad plight” of somebody who is being denied nothing but a pure economic business opportunity. If we relied on the free market to solve all our problems, the boundary waters would have been bought and sold numerous times by now. Fences would have been put up, and we would no longer be able to enjoy one of the greatest public goods in the country. Yea that sounds like a great idea.

Yet conservative hate-mongers like Ms. Kersten are the first to jump on the backs of welfare recipients. They feel pity for innocent business people, but distain for the working poor of the world. They hate the federal government and its policies reflexively.

The boundary waters is a relatively small piece of America, I don’t think it is asking too much to preserve it in its natural state. Fires are an integral part of the lifecycle of forests. Deal with it.

Bar Exam Redux: My Thoughts & A Bar Exam Question

2006-07-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

It’s over. And I’m done. Physically and mentally exhausted by the bar exam itself, and the subsequent celebrations. I’ve slept about 24 hours the last two nights, attempting to recharge my batteries.

The bar exam itself tested both my body and mind. I endured a knotted stomach, a throbbing head, and frayed nerves almost continuously for two days. I took comfort in the fact that just about all of my colleagues felt the same way. The lines on our faces all got just a little bit deeper. Some of us earned our first grey hairs.

By far, the best part about the whole bar exam experience was the bonding and celebration afterward. Letting loose after being wound so tight. Understanding completely the trials and tribulations and commiserating about the ridiculousness of it all. The exclusion of witnesses… what? Negligent hot air ballooning… come again? No Rule Against Perpetuities question?…. Damn I knew that cold.

Thank you to all of you who helped me along the way. To my classmates: thank you for all the little reminders and moments of levity throughout law school and bar review. To my non-law school friends: thank you, your friendship helped me forget about the grind from time to time. To Ambular: thank you, you have helped and supported me more than you will ever know. I could not have done it with out all the support and confidence that all of you gave me.

Now in case you want to try a bar exam question at home here you go. You have 45 minutes, go:

Driver is a 16-year-old who recently obtained his learner driving permit. In Driver’s state of residence the statute provides that a driver wit a valid learner permit shall only operate a vehicle with a licensed adult driver seated in the front seat of the vehicle and shall only drive between the hours of 6 a.m. and 11 p.m. The purpose of the learner permit law is to allow new drivers an opportunity to learn to drive with the guidance of qualified drivers and to minimize risks to others who might be endangered by inexperienced drivers. The time restriction was intended to keep inexperienced drivers off the road during the hours when they are less likely to be fully alert. Driving without a valid driver permit or in violation of the learner permit law is a misdemeanor and subjects an offender to a fine.

Driver was driving a vehicle one night at midnight with a licensed adult driver seated in the front seat next to him. As Driver carefully drove through an intersection with a green light, his vehicle was struck by Thief, who inadvertently ran through a red light.

Thief was driving a car he had stolen 10 minutes earlier from Dealer using keys left in the unlocked car. Dealer is a car dealership which routinely leaves keys in cars on its lot for the convenience of its salespeople. Thief and others had stolen cars from Dealer’s lot in the same manner on other occasions.

Passenger, an adult passenger in the backseat of Driver’s car, was injured when the car Thief was driving struck Driver’s vehicle. Part of Passenger’s injuries were caused by her failure to wear a seat belt.

Passenger brings a negligence claim against Driver, Thief, and Dealer for her damages.

Analyze Passenger’s claims against the defendants. Discuss the likelihood of Passenger prevailing on her claims in light of possible defenses.

(End of actual 2006 MN Bar Exam essay question)

The Bar Exam: My Greatest Challenge

2006-07-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my absence. I know how all my faithful readers hang-on every word I type. Some of you probably can’t even find the strength to get out of bed in the morning without your daily dose of tripe. Well fear not, the end of the MN Life dry spell is almost over.

For those who don’t know I’ve been consumed lately with bar exam preparation. I am trying to cram as much legalese into my cranium as possible. The problem is, each wrinkle of the law I mange to squeeze in pushes another nugget out. Just when I learn hearsay, I forget personal jurisdiction. When I finally grasp negligence, I lose the Statute of Frauds. It is a never ending battle to learn, compartmentalize, and understand the various intricacies of the law. My brain is literally throbbing, pushing against the inside of my skull.

Please do not feel sorry for me. I’ve brought this torment upon myself and hopefully someday I will be rewarded handsomely for it. But it just isn’t much fun. The test isn’t until Tuesday and I already have butterflies in my stomach. I’m not sleeping or eating that well, the stress is taking its toll. Learning the law and becoming a lawyer is nearly as taxing upon the body as it is the mind.

I must solider-on undaunted, undeterred, unwavering. I must harness the fear, anxiety, and doubt and turn them into my allies. All I can do is give it my best effort, and hope that the things I cannot control go my way. Pass or fail I will be better off for having been through the gauntlet. My resolve, having been tested and tempered, will be galvinized.

And like all of life’s difficult moments, this too shall pass.

Damn It Is Hot!

2006-07-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

For anyone, unfamiliar with Minnesota, who may stubble across my humble blog: it is ridiculously hot today. And by hot I mean hot and humid, none of that “dry heat” that Arizona boasts. No this is rainforest hot, sweat through your shirt hot. And tomorrow the mercury will be even higher. We’re talking about 105+ degree heat indexes, instant sweat the moment you step out doors; plenty of swass to go around. It is so hot the breeze feels like it is being pumped out of a forced-air furnace.

Hot steamy summer days in Minnesota make me think of one of my biggest pet peeves… people who make lame, ignorant, insulting, over-generalizations.

I never understood how some (obviously, not all or I would be making a lame, ingnorant, insulting, over-generalization) east and west coasters (some I’ve met, some I’ve only had the privilege of seeing on various reality shows) could be so oblivious to “fly-over land” that they actually thought it was cold in Minnesota all the time. It is understandable if “coasters” don’t know much about this great state, in fact I prefer it that way. But just like the girl named Cecilia, who must endure endless no-so-clever references to the Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name, I’m tired of ignorant-snobs attempting humor (or worse: showing their lack of knowledge) by asking “Isn’t it cold all the time in Minnesota?”

Oh yea, that is sooooo funny. I never heard that one before. You should take that routine on the road Chuckles.

Maybe I’m just cranky from studying for the bar exam. Maybe the heat is getting to me a little bit, I don’t know. But in any event, all you knuckle-dragging, coast-dwelling idiots have been warned. (and hopefully a little informed)

Rush Limbaugh and Ken Lay: Who's Your God?

2006-07-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you stumble across a story that makes you grin-widely. You know that whatever higher-power you believe in must be working in a rational and even-handed manor. Whether or not you believe in karma as a religious doctrine, it makes a lot of sense. You reap what you sow.

No matter how much I pretend to be something I’m not, I cannot escape my actions. What I do and how I act reflect upon me as a person, much more than what I say. I could say I’m a Hindu, but if I wear crucifixes and eat hamburgers then I’m not being a very good Hindu, Christian, or hamburger-eater for that matter. I would only be an above average hypocrite.

I guess Ken Lay convinced himself that orchestrating one of the biggest scams of all time and being a Christian are not mutually exclusive activities. How deep was the self-delusion? How could Lay ever forgive himself for recklessly ruining so many lives? Now, I understand the ideas of forgiveness and atonement. But Mr. Lay forgot two important aspects: confession and repentance.

Obviously, I do not know where Mr. Lay will spend eternity. But I would have a hard time accepting any god who would let a scoundrel like Ken Lay into heaven. That would be an injustice of epic proportions.

Living Dangerously with Mason Jennings

2006-06-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Today after work I was on a mission. The work was illegal, and if I got caught… well… let’s just say I didn’t plan on getting caught. This mission was important to me, and I would not be deterred.

I was set to cross the state-line, cross-over into the land of cheese and full-throttle pyrotechnics to secure premium fireworks for the weekend. And I was excited. For a self-admitted pyro, a trip to a fireworks store is better than Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Spring Break combined.

And while I fantasized about being an ole’ time-y bootlegger, Mason Jennings’ new album “Boneclouds” kept me entertained. Boneclouds represents a marked evolution for Jennings. A positive evolution, similar in many respects The Red Hot Chill Peppers transition to “Californication” style.

Mason is still the same solid songwriter: brilliant lyrics, catchy riffs, and soulful performance. This time around Mason turns to his razor-sharp perception and trains his refreshing wit on: long-term love, fatherhood, and religion. While Boneclouds contains more mature subject mater than past albums, it shares the same beautiful and understated song craft that has made Mason Jennings one of my favorites.

I cannot recommend it enough.

It will be in my play-list for a long time.

I Don't Hate Dogs... Really

2006-06-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has lived with me (or heard me rant about my neighbors) knows how I feel about the dogs next door. (There are at least two, but I’ve counted as many as five at one time in a small Minneapolis backyard) For the benefit of those who don’t know, the dogs have a nasty habit of incessantly barking every time they are let out. It doesn’t mater what time of the day, sometimes they wake me as early as 7 am on the weekends. Anytime I walk from my garage to my door, the dogs run full speed to the fence and bark at me like I killed their mothers.

Now, I’ve entertained numerous schemes to rid myself of my four-legged problem. But I’m a typical passive aggressive Minnesotan when it comes to these types of situations. And I know too many people (friends and family) who love dogs who would disown me or question our relationship if I did anything too drastic.

On top of it all, my neighbors are not your ordinary dog owners. They take rescued dogs in on a revolving basis, sort of “dog foster parents.” Their “big-hearts” put me in a bit of a dilemma. How do you make a stink about something so noble? I would feel terrible playing the role of neighborhood Scrooge. Even worse, I would have to fight this battle alone. The rest of my neighbors have do not appear to mind, they are all getting their own dogs, which has only increased the barking.

I know I can’t blame the dogs for being dogs. Typically, a dog’s poor behavior is a reflection of their owners’ lack of care and concern. Owners who fail to discipline their dogs are no different than parents who fail to control their children. Those who do not take the time or put forth the effort to properly train their dogs, do a disservice to their pets. Poorly trained dogs grow-up with anti-social tendencies, tendencies that could ultimately cost them their lives.

So while I laud my neighbors for taking on the difficult task of rescuing dogs that have been neglected by their previous owners, I cringe at the fact that I have to deal with the negative externalities of their decision. It wouldn’t be so bad if the negative aspects were off-set by some sort of positive pay-off. I’m not asking for my name in lights or the “Worlds most tolerant neighbor award.” But it is utterly frustrating to consistently deal with very vocal dogs, and yet feel completely constrained from saying anything about it.

And now, not even my office is safe from barking dogs: “Take your dog to work day” Is this really a good idea? How much work will a person be able to do if they have to: a) chase their own dog around the office, b) have to continually command their dog to “be quiet,” c) clean-up Foofie’s “accident,” d) separate Cuddles and Spike, or e) deal with their co-worker’s barking dogs all day.

Serenity now!

Sven Sundgaard: Twin Cities Phenomenon

2006-06-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

This kid is hot right now… he’s popping up everywhere. Women want him, men want him. Even KQRS is taking notice.

Opium: Grandma's Little Helper

2006-06-15T14:47:00.000-07:00

Today I read a police report that described a recent child welfare check. Social services asked the police to check on the welfare of 5 siblings. When the police showed-up they found the five young children outside playing, and discovered grandma (the only adult on the premises) lying on a beaded mat on the floor inside in a bedroom. Opium and related paraphernalia were strewn about her.

The officers asked her what the little black balls were. She freely admitted it was opium and that she had been smoking it...

"I smoke opium to take care of the children," she volunteered as if it was ok as long as it was "for the kids."

Unbelieveable, you can't make this stuff up

Quarter-Life Crisis

2006-06-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

Children often have no concept of how daily life functions. Friends, family, school, and a room full of posters comprise the entirety of a child’s conscience existence. You bounce through life unconcerned with trivialities, mostly insulated from the harsher realities of life. Dreams are allowed to spiral out of control in your mind. Serious thoughts rarely invade your imagination.

Kids understand “being a fireman” as little more than sliding down a pole and jumping onto the back of a big red truck with a Dalmatian named “Spike.” “Being a doctor” is more about wearing a long white coat than realizing it takes a tenth of your life just to get through medical school. Careers are seen as idealized caricatures, sanitized for youthful audiences. You can be whatever you want (or so your told) to be when you grow-up, and the choices seem endless. One day a boy wants to be a carpenter, the next a racecar driver. Or a girl wants to be an architect on Monday, but by Wednesday she’s dead-set on a career as a concert violinist.

My observations on childhood are not earth-shattering and are fairly obvious. But as I look forward to starting my career, I cannot help feeling a little nostalgic. I have chosen a path, a path I do not regret. But no mater how excited I am about my future I am still mournful of all the things I will not get the chance to become. Like Kevin Arnold once bemoaned, (slightly paraphrased):

“When you are a kid you are part artist, part athlete, part musician, and part scholar. Growing-up is a process of slowly giving up parts of yourself until you are left with one, what you were meant to become.”
My nostalgia does not have anything to do with any sort of personal hobby-shortage or that I feel short-changed in the grand scheme of things. It is the end of summers off, the loss of infinite possibilities, and the steady creep of time that make me long for those simpler days. I know I’ll never get a chance to learn to hit a major-league curve ball, master pottery, or set foot on the moon.

It does not bother me that I will not get to do everything I’ve ever dreamed. But knowing that I will not get to try every exotic profession is somewhat depressing. What’s that saying?

Ignorance… something.

A Weatherman and His Goat

2006-06-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

*Photo credit to Sven's page on Flicker. Apprently there are at least a couple of people who think that Mr. Sundgaard is "Soooo cute."

This afternoon, Ambular and I explored St. Louis Park’s shopping scene. There were a couple of “high-end secondhand” stores I wanted to check-out. (An oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.) The stores disappointed a bit, although I did see a pretty sweet couch for $249.

But the best part of the afternoon; Ambular and I saw local TV weatherman “Sven Svenerson.” For those who don’t know, he’s the new weekend weather guy on the KARE 11 news team. (He also has a blog.) His real name is Sven Sundgaard. The first time Ambular and I saw him on the KARE 11 I cleverly twisted his name into our personal pet name for him. It is hard to believe how authentically Swedish he is.

We realized how ridiculous it was to get excited about seeing such a minor local celebrity, and that made it all the more hilarious to us. It is not that we were awestruck. Instead, we were more geeked about the fact that we knew where he lived, what he drives (a Kia Sportage), and what he looks like off the camera…

just in case we wanted to stalk him.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Morally Ambiguous

2006-06-04T18:59:00.000-07:00

I had a busy weekend. There was a two-day tournament at the course Friday afternoon and Saturday morning, plus I managed to pick-up an early morning loop today. I spent a lot of time with the rich and the powerful.

Time and time again, I learn the lesson that the privileged members of society are not all that different from regular folk. While wealth can open doors and provide a means to improving a person’s character, it is equally capable of eroding virtue and masking the innate ugliness of human nature. Undesirable characteristics fade into the background when covered in a nice suit or fine dress. Society treats the peccadilloes of the affluent with kiddie gloves, idiosyncrasies are dismissed as mere eccentricity.

The most successful and publicly righteous people can be the most hypocritical and ironic. (See: Bill McGuire) The rich are not any more hypocritical than the poor, but their wealth illuminates and highlights some of their inherent internal contradictions. Some very powerful individuals show contempt for the rules and feel no shame about it. Their money protects them, and they expect to be handled differently.

Many of these “grey-area dwellers” would not hesitate to correct a wayward member of the “great unwashed.” Caddies, for example, have been reprimanded for such atrocities as calling members by their first names, (at the member’s request no less) and for selling retrieved golf balls to members (“it’s stealing club property”). Yet it would be completely unacceptable for any person of a (perceived) lower status to scold socially deviant behavior of a CEO or any other member of the bourgeois.

This post was not meant to be a Marxist populist rant. As usual, it is the 1% that gives the other 99% a bad name. It is the few bad apples who allow social constructs to define right and wrong, thereby marginalizing morality. It is utterly frustrating to see those who seem to have it all act as if they are entitled to live by different standards, and be powerless to say anything about it.

Sure, in theory I could say something. After all I am physically capable of speech. But anything I could possibly say/do would not only be utterly ineffective, it would likely cost me my job, and would be hypocritical on my part. I’m neither entirely worthy of, nor ready to wear the Moral Police badge.

Instead, I’m just going to post this rant and watch the revolution on TV.

Summer School

2006-05-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

What can I say? Its nice out, bar review has begun, I’ve been caddying, and I’ve even managed to interview for an in-house position with a local company. Therefore, the MN Life has been sorely neglected.

After every year of law school I rewarded myself with at least a week or two away from the grind. I would maximize the amount of time I spent on a golf course, drink cocktails outdoors, and avoid reading anything heavier than a newspaper. The promise of an uber layed-back lifestyle, even though temporary, was the carrot that got me through the battle that was spring finals.

This time around, I was afraid that bar review classes would be too much too soon. Nobody wants to spend precious summer days listening to some unfamiliar professor drone-on giving you the legal version of Cliffs Notes. I had avoided any sort of summer school, and I had witnessed how even one summer undergraduate class would intrude upon my friends’ summer time fun.

I was worried BarBri would turn me into a crabby bastard. But, so far it hasn’t been too bad. Now, I’m not going to go as far as to say that it’s been enjoyable, but it isn’t terrible either. The professors are decent, I get to hang-out with friends, and three hours a day is manageable. Besides, there is little doubt that BarBri will increase my chances of passing the bar exam. And that is a comforting thought.

* Coming soon: Pictures of Mike and Tammi’s wedding celebration.

Nucking Futts

2006-05-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today on Pardon the Interruption I saw an interesting story. Pat Robertson claims to be able to leg press 2000 pounds. It is probably a typo. But if you've seen Pat Robertson on the 700 club lately you would know that even 200 pounds seems like a stretch.

Either way.... that must be one hell of a shake.

Getting My Daily Dose of 411

2006-05-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

Graduation has come and gone. I strutted across the stage, I hosted the family, and I had a great time visiting with my fellow graduates throughout the festivities. I especially enjoyed the steak I had on Friday afternoon, thank you Andy for making the trip to Forsters in Plymouth. (David, you need to try one of these) And though I never actually climbed into the ring at Upper-Cut, it was interesting to see the inside of a real live gym. Langino’s mug is plastered all over the walls; I guess no one around here has ever seen an Italian boxer/lawyer kick so much butt before. But then again... who has?

I have to admit that I’ve been a little unplugged from the broader world for the better part of the last month. The last three weeks of school was all consuming (due to my ‘ahem’ “condensed studying”), plus I was trying to maintain a full social schedule, and get the house in shape to entertain the family. Not that I’m complaining, everybody is busy, but there was not a whole lot of time to read my favorite blogs or newspapers.

Even though I have been in a news depravation chamber I call “my life,” it has been impossible to miss the fact that immigration (legal or otherwise) is a problem. The immigration issue is not just any run-of-the-mill problem either. It is an intricate, complex, beguiling puzzle that has no easy answers. Solving the “immigration problem” (And by “Immigration problem” most Americans mean “Mexican-immigration problem”) will take a steady multi-faceted effort by numerous private, federal, and local agencies. At this point America cannot realistically expect to be able to completely stop the flow of illegal immigrants through the great Southern deserts. Americans should not expect anything other than a reduction of illegal immigrants. And how significant that reduction ultimately is remains to be seen.

Until there is a dramatic economic upswing in Mexico or a substantial downturn in the American economy there will be pressure on the poor and able to cross the boarder. Money is a powerful motivator. And not just from the immigrants’ perspective either. Big business and consumers both benefit from cheap imported labor. The law of supply and demand is creating an undeniable incentive for Mexicans to illegally cross the boarder and for American companies and consumers to look the other way. Couple the monetary incentives with America’s painfully slow bureaucracy and you get an “immigration problem.”

President Bush being a great leader and visionary had concluded that the already overworked National Guard should “support” Boarder Patrol efforts. This is not a solution, this is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Illegal immigration will not be stopped through use of force. Deploying the National Guard to halt illegal immigration is like putting a band-aid on a leaky pipe.

Illegal Immigration was the one issue I thought the former Governor of Texas would understand.

What I Learned In Law School

2006-05-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have been baptized in the law. Three years of rigorous instruction plied and shaped my thought process. My brain is full of Constitutional law, Family law, Torts, Property, Administrative law, Local Government law, Tax, Sports law, Statutory Interpretation, Evidence, Death Penalty, International Human Rights law, Land Use Planning, Criminal law, Civil Procedure, Contracts, and Regulated Industries.

Like most educational opportunities in life, the most meaningful lessons did not involve the classroom. The ‘law experience’ itself was much more illuminating and valuable than any classroom instruction could be. And more than any other, law school taught me it is more important to know what you don’t know than to know what you do know.

Know thy self.

Law school taught me how to deal with printers and their universal tendency to malfunction at inopportune times. Sometimes, even though it would be better to seek help, deadlines were approaching and I had no choice but to do things myself. Hell, after three years of last minute printing projects, it wouldn’t take much before I could be a printer repair man myself. Removing paper jams, changing toner cartridges, and knowing the exact place to effectively deliver a reset-smack... all in a days work.

Trust thy self.

Legal training has made me a damn fine (if I do say so myself) hoop-jumper-through-guy. No meaningless task can stop me now. You want me to take an original, signed birth certificate plus a copy of “said” document to building A so they can certify it before I run it over to building B across town? No problem, that’s right in my wheel-house. I’ve learned to overcome my incessant need to question the powers that be and/or their inane rules. Law school: How I learned to stop challenging authority, or how I learned to love the process. Sometimes it is just self-important bullshit, and you have to do it anyway.

Laugh at thy self.

I’ve had an amazing opportunity to mingle with truly brilliant individuals. Both fellow students and professors continuously surprised and amazed me. I am lucky to have met so many interesting and wonderful people. Someday I will be able to tell stories about the time I watched the State Supreme Court Justice strike out in slow-pitch softball, how I played bar trivia with a Senator, watched the President’s chief-of-staff riff righteously on his guitar, or the time I "posterized" the CEO of General Mills. I cannot help feeling like I crashed the cool-kids party.

Thank you all my friends, fellow law student or not, my family, my roommates, teammates, and especially Ambular, for without your collective presence, encouragement, and assistance I would not have been able to persevere to the end.

Embrace and celebrate the talent and generousity of those around thy self.

The lessons I learned over the course of the last three years were not necessarily new or earth-shaking. Instead, law school made them more intense and poignant. Perhaps baptism was the wrong analogy; law school was more of a confirmation in the law. Baptism is a passive event; one receives benefits without active participation. Confirmation demands effort, engaged learning, and public displays of your knowledge.

The road has been long, the time has been short, and I will never forget the joys, the stress, the failures, the triumphs, and the people.

A Final Final

2006-05-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

11:02 pm

I’m shutting it down for the night. I’m not going to learn anything more about evidence tonight. I just need to go to bed.

I stand on the cusp of my last official law school duty. Only an Evidence final stands between me and graduation. It will not be pretty, but it will get done.

My head is too full of relevance, hearsay, character vs. trait, and unfair prejudice to ponder what law school has meant to yours truly. For the next day or two I will mull that question over, and hopefully it will lead to a revelation. A revelation that will spark a great post, a post which will capture my perceptions, hopes, fears, regrets, and triumphs.

Or maybe I’ll just write post about how friggn’ great it is to be free from the dungeon of Mondale Hall.

Either way I hope you’ll stay-tuned.

Mitch Hedberg: A Comic's Comic

2006-05-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Last night Ambular and I attended the Mitch Hedberg Tribute at the Orpheum Theater. Great show, tons of good comics. We owe a sincere thank you to Sarah for getting us complementary tickets, and to Glen for his willingness to be the third wheel. We both had a really good time. It is completely refreshing to laugh so hard your belly hurts. It’s good for the soul.

Unfortunately, I knew very little about Mr. Hedberg before last night. I only had a vague idea of who he was, and was unfamiliar with his body of work. Therefore, I went into the event with a clean slate, unencumbered with bias, sentimentality, or preconceived notions. My eyes were wide open.

It became abundantly clear very early on that Mitch had left a large footprint in the hearts and minds of standup comedians everywhere. Some of the biggest names in the business turned-out to pay their respects. Most of the comics told stories about how Mitch influenced their own careers, and some got choked-up while they shared their personal tales. Many touching moments were mixed-in with the laughter.

We should all hope that our passing inspires such an outpouring of admiration.

Soon

2006-04-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry my posting has been so sporadic lately, but two 20 page research papers have zapped my desire to blog. I’ve spent many hours banging away on my keyboard, and the last thing I want to do at the end of a long day is sit down and type more. But today I will hand in one paper. And tomorrow, whether I like it or not, I will hand in the other. And the MN Life will return to its regularly scheduled rants, raves, and rambling.

I’ve got pictures to post and a law school summary to write. Hopefully, within the next couple of weeks I will find the time to write my masterpiece. I have many people to thank, many friends to be thankful for, and many classmates to recognize for their contributions to the law school experience.

Forever in Blue Jeans

2006-04-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

I hate shopping for pants, jeans especially. I’ve been lucky enough to spend roughly 90% of my waking life in jeans. Therefore, I’m more than a little particular about my jean specifications. And the older I get, the harder it is to find a decent pair of jeans.

Monday I spent 2+ hours at the Rosedale Mall, and by the Rosedale Mall I mean the whole damn mall. I covered the department stores and all the trendy high-schoolish shops in between. I was on a mission; I bounced from the racks to fitting rooms with reckless abandon.

While at Marshal Fields, I wondered if President Bush was shopping. A number of the salespeople in Menswear appeared to be no-so-undercover Secret Service officers. They were decked-out in black suits with Federal agent style earpieces and radios. (One, even sported MIB shades to complete the look.) Who knew retail could look so dangerous?

A little later, I was enjoying hassle-free shopping at Express (surprising enough) and found a pair of clearance jeans to try-on. I found salesperson and she unlocked the fitting room. I had just pulled my pants down when I hear the door shake and the salesperson announce:

“Here are a couple of T-shirts on sale right now… 2 for $29.95.”

Now I’m not a prude, but is it appropriate to up-sell to a person while his or her pants are down?

I moved on…

At the Buckle I realized one of my worst fears: I’m officially old. (or maybe just fat, either way its not good) Like most of my shopping endeavors I wandered in and began fumbling-through the stacks of jeans. A blonde teenage salesperson approached me and asked if she could help me find anything.

“No I’m fine, just looking around thank you.” I replied.

“Well, up here in the front are all the slim fit pants.” Blondie continues: “As you go further toward the back, there are jeans with a fuller-leg-fit.” (Motioning toward the back, as if to say I should look back there. I perceived just a hint of condescension in her voice)
Great… either I’ve officially become old or am fat according to “The Buckle standard.”

So I waddled to the back, only to find that torn jeans now sell for $80 a pair. This struck me as ironic. Over the weekend I put a hole in one of my favorite pairs of jeans, which prompted my trip to the mall in the first place.

This gave me an idea. If they whole “lawyer-thing” doesn’t work out, I’ve discovered a new profession…I’ll become a “Professional Jeans-wearer.”

I’ll buy cheap “plain” jeans, wear them for a couple of months, and turn-around and sell them at a 100% mark-up. A rock-solid business plan, don’t you think? I mean what could possibly go wrong? I’ll be a millionaire in no time.

In the end I found a pair of DKNY jeans (without holes) for $19.99 at Herberger’s. And there was much rejoicing… yay.

Fighting Mondales Friggin' Rule

2006-04-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

There was a grudge match last Friday night at Ridder Arena. The Fighting Mondales mixed-it-up with the Fighting Eelpout of Billy Mitchell. (Or Bitchell for short) Good times were had by all, even though the Mondales came-up on the short end of the final tally.

I’m ashamed to admit that this was the first time I was able to watch the pride of Mondale Hall in action. But as a kid I was hit in the head with a hockey puck (explains a lot), it instilled an unnatural fear of small black rubber disks and men in breezers. Actually, I’ve always been jealous of hockey players. Basketball is fun, but as a Minnesotan hockey will always have special place in my heart. Most people would admit they wish they could play hockey, the rest are lying.

Suyo, Gates, Sven, Kris, Katie and I were chilln’ in the seats and the Mondales were entertaining on the ice. Leishman made a hell of a move to score the first Mondale goal. It was quite crafty.

There was even a dust-up midway through the game. Any time a couple of rivals square-off you are bound to have a little ‘tussel,’ it’s an indispensable element.

I want to send a shout-out to all my fellow 3Ls on the team: Freeman, Hanson, Reif, Schultz, Drewes, Widstrom, Olson, Leishman, Homuth, VanOverbeke, DeCourcy, Swenson, Klug, and Kytola.

For More Pics and Mondale Info Click Here

* Photos by Suyo
* Thank you Jeff for sending me the pics

Where Does the Time Go?

2006-04-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

I guess it has been a while since I’ve posted. … It’s not you, it’s me.

A. I did not plan my sixth semester schedule very well. I have two seminars, each require a 20 page research paper. Therefore, because I’ve been banging away on my keyboard like a trained monkey for the better part of the last two weeks, I haven’t had much of a desire to blog.

B. The weather has been perfect lately, the golf courses are open, and I’ve already managed to play 27 holes. That’s six less hours of free time available for blogging. (I like blogging, but I love golfing... even when I shoot 102)

C. I’ve been a little burned-out on blogging. It’s just a little general malaise, nothing serious. No one will be able to stop me once the “inspirado” gets flowing again. (Even if you wanted to)

+ One interesting news note: Church program won't care for woman who once was a man

I’ve been leery of faith-based social programs from the beginning, especially because Bush was a cheerleader. Now, don’t get me wrong, having the benefit of a parochial education myself, I understand the advantages of faith-based programs. A strong and genuine faith can inspire dedication, unselfishness, honor, and respect. It is easier to work hard toward a goal, if you believe there is a higher purpose or reward for your endeavors.

BUT...

Unfortunately, the same faith that can inspire grace and altruism can also spawn hate and intolerance. It strikes me as intensely hypocritical for a religious organization to simultaneously conduct outreach missions and yet to turn away a needy individual solely because they have an outward condition that prevents them from hiding their “sin.” I wonder if Trinity Lutheran Church refused other vulnerable adults because they were liars, foul-mouthed punks, or chronic masturbators.

Unless a faith-based organization is willing to show all comers the same level of care and grace, stay-out of the social service industry. I heartily applaud the efforts of all those who offer care and patience, regardless of any patient’s perceived “worthiness.” They deserve our support and praise, but rarely get enough of either. It never ceases to amaze me how many “Christians” get hung-up on certain inane doctrinal details and fail to grasp Jesus’ overall message of love and acceptance.

I apologize for ranting about a touchy subject, but when I saw this story I knew it would bother me until I vented.

+ COMING SOON: Pictures from The Fighting Mondales – Fighting Eelpout showdown last Friday night.

"Like Carson Daily says… on the TeeVee"

2006-04-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy “My Name is Earl.” Can’t say I’m a religious viewer, but I catch it when I can. It has a great premise, the acting is spot-on, and the writing is better than you would expect for a sitcom. “Earl” deftly blends the comedic and the poignant.

For those who haven’t seen it, “Earl” is a show about karma. Earl, played by Jason Lee, wakes up in a hospital bed and has a revelation. Earl realizes that he has been a shyster his whole life and he needs to make amends for his karmic debt. The revelation was spurred by Carson Daily comments on karma.

Sometimes things happen that are hard to understand without factoring in some sort of karmic explanation. I’m not a Buddhist, but the law of karma is intuitively satisfying for both the heart and mind. Karma’s fundamental appeal is reflected through its theoretical reverberations within the teachings of numerous religions and spiritual dogmas.

Last night Ambular and I witnessed pure karmic irony.

We pulled-up behind a red Chevy Blazer. The SUV had obviously been in an accident. The entire bumper and some of the lower body had been crumpled, the damage was consistent with a rear-end collision.

I look a little closer through the rain and notice a small red bumper sticker…

I’m not tailgating…I’m DRAFTING.

MMMMmmmm A New Weakness

2006-04-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

Oh Ben and Jerry… you’ve done it again. Just when I had overcome my obsession with “Cherry Garcia” and “Chubby Hubby,” you unveil your newest (and best) assault on my waistline.

Vermonty Python

My new ice cream obsession is coffee liquor flavored ice cream with chocolate cookie crumbs and fudge cows. (Not sure what the cows are all about… but they are delicious.)

The next time you are hit with the urge for decadent sweets, check it out. And buy two containers, because one will not be enough.

Living My Dream

2006-03-28T15:07:00.000-08:00

I can still remember a couple of dreams I had as a child. (Considering the amount of brain cells I’ve killed over the last 8 years that’s no small feat.) One of them is too weird to even attempt to describe, the other…

I was always attracted to the crane toy machines. After begging my parents for a quarter, I would ply my skill. Often a friend and I would gang up on the tricky machines. One of us would operate the crane and judge the target’s x-axis; the other would stand on the side of the machine and judge the y-axis. Every so often I would pluck a prize, just often enough to keep me plugging quarters.

To this day I can distinctly remember a dream about having the ability to contort my body. And what did I do with my amazing super power? I climbed into every skill-crane in town, and took all the toys… MMMMuuuuu hahahahah.

I’m a huge dork, and I’m a little jealous of this kid.

I’m torn…

2006-03-26T12:13:00.000-08:00

Because I’m still in the running with a couple of brackets, I have to root for UConn. Yet, the Huskies stir the same feelings of disgust I have for Duke, and the Yankees.

I’m drawn to George Mason. I’m a sucker for the hardworking underdogs of the world. Although… GM’s Tony Skinn recently punched another man in the jewels during a game. It is hard to root for that guy.

I guess this game will be like betting against the Vikings… you win either way.

And

I’m sick…

And when I’m sick, I’m a big big man baby. I piss and moan, and am generally not agreeable to much.

For those of you who have to deal with me I’m sorry.

And missing a party because of illness is just lame, whether it's justified or not.

A Double Dose of Excitement: Seasoned With Reality

2006-03-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

I’m still trying to catch my breath. The NCAA tournament never disappoints. This was especially true last night. As plucky LSU knocked-off over-hyped Duke, college basketball’s version of the Yankees, and two games ended with high-wire drama.

Great finish #1: Texas hit a 3-pointer as time expired, seconds after West Virginia hit a 3-pointer to tie the game. Great finish #2: UCLA clawed back from a double digit deficit to knock-off Adam Morrison and the ‘Zags. Gonzaga managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. UCLA’s full-court pressure caused two key turnovers, which they converted into a surprise come-from-behind victory.

I was jumping around enjoying the thrilling conclusions, fully immersed in the excitement of it all. Reality is suspended when I’m watching an exciting basketball game. I’m like a kid watching a Rambo movie, I never question the fact that one man could take-on the entire Russian army and win. I’m in a reality-free bliss-bubble.

Mr. Mustache became absolutely dejected as the final seconds ticked off the game clock. I’m not calling attention to his heartbreak to poke fun at him. Anyone who has played organized sports knows how awful it can be to face the end of a season. It's not nice to kick a man when he's down.

Morrison's man-tears were hard to miss. At the end of the UCLA/Gonzaga game, CBS focused its entire coverage on Morrison's pain. The commentators were going on and on about the possibility that this was Adam Morrison’s last college game. With typical overly dramatic hyperbole the commentators lamented the loss from Morrison’s perspective. To which Ambular quipped:

“Geeze, they make it sound like he’s going to be shot at dawn for losing.”

It’s funny because it’s true. And that's why I love the NCAA tournament.